She Isn't Real
by beegurl13
Summary: "She's a myth that I have to believe in, all I need to make it real is one more reason."  Can a nobody boy ever really win the heart of a somebody girl?  Or will he only be left with regrets?  An FAGE3some story written for Lyricalkris.  E&B, Rated M, AH
1. Chapter 1 Sparkly Tennis Shoes

**Ficawesome Gift Exchange- 3some  
>Title: She Isn't Real<br>Written for: Lyricalkris  
>Written By: beegurl13<br>Rating: M (for future lemony goodness :D )  
>SummaryPrompt used: "She's a myth that I have to believe in, all I need to make it real is one more reason." **

**~o~O~o~  
><strong>

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a love of FAGE stories. And the fact that it seems to be getting bigger and bigger each time we do it. :D That's so fun. :)**

**Thanks to my girlies – _MaggieMay14, __EdwardsBloodType,__ UnchangedAffections,__ Twilight44,__ Luxure,_ and my wifey _Mrs.__ Robward_. I don't know what I'd do without these amazing girls. They're all pretty wonderful, and so helpful, too. :D**

**There's a banner for this, linked on my profile. It's pretty, and it has pictures. It's good. :)**

**_Lyricalkris_, I hope you like this. Thanks for the prompt, it was fun to work with. I figured if you went to the trouble of sending an actual song lyric, then that needed to be the prompt I went with. Hope you enjoy it. :)**

**~o~O~o~**

_She is everything to me  
>The unrequited dream<br>A song that no one sings  
>The unattainable<br>She's a myth that I have to believe in  
>All I need to make it real is one more reason <em>

"**Vermillion, Pt. 2" by Slipknot**

~o~O~o~

Chapter 1 – Sparkly Tennis Shoes

I've known her since I was seven.

Knobby knees, wire rimmed glasses, uncontrollable hair...I was a mess. Never popular or cool, never picked first for recess kickball, never the highest math score posted on the bulletin board. I was normal, average, plain. Easily overlooked, that's what I was. Nothing special, not like her.

Bella was beautiful, from the moment she moved to our sleepy little town. Her brown hair in curls, her pink sweater and fancy jeans. She even had sparkly tennis shoes. Every girl in Forks wanted to be her, to talk to her, play with her. And every boy wanted to sit next to her in class, stand behind her in the lunch line, get off the bus at her stop. I was the only one, the lucky one, they said. Sadly, that was all I was known for through my years of schooling in Forks...that I lived across the street from Bella Swan.

That's how people knew me.

As we grew up, we talked, played, and watched tv together. My sister Alice was three years younger than me, so she played with us, too. I thought she was annoying, but Bella thought she was sweet. I always let Bella have what she wanted. Always.

When we were twelve and in junior high, Bella told me that Mike Newton had asked her to "go with him." My response was, "Go where?" Bella laughed, saying I was too cute, then proceeded to tell me that it meant going steady, being his girlfriend.

She was so excited, so flattered that he'd asked her. "The cutest boy in school," she said, giggling and dancing around my back yard. She broke my heart that day. And she never even knew it.

Realistically, I knew that Bella Swan would never look at me in_ that_ way, but it didn't stop me from dreaming about it. The thought of kissing girls was gross, except when it came to Bella. Holding a girl's hand seemed stupid, except if it was Bella's hand.

Acne didn't help me win any admirers as we entered our teen years, and neither did my growth spurt our freshman year of high school. I was gawky, awkward, unsteady. Bella was soft, graceful, magnetic. She attracted people, and soon it was only outside on our front lawns where we talked.

"People don't want me to talk to you, Edward. They say it's not cool if we're friends at school," she said softly, her head down. Her eyes were sad, and I didn't know why.

We were fifteen, and she was the princess of Forks High. I was just an average no body, no one important, nothing special. Not in the same realm as a cheerleader, which is what Bella was. Of course it wasn't okay for her to talk to me from eight in the morning to four in the afternoon, Monday through Friday. Or at sanctioned school events. Or in public, for the most part. How this never dawned on her, I didn't know.

"Well," I said, holding back the urge to cry so that I could make things easier on her. "We just won't talk at school then, and we don't have to tell anyone that we talk at home, either. I mean, all I have are Eric and Emmett, and Emmett can't talk to me at school either. Football players don't talk to geeks, right? I'm sure the same goes for cheerleaders."

I laughed, trying to lighten the mood. Her head snapped up, her eyes burning into mine with more fierceness than I'd seen from her ever before.

"Don't say that, don't call yourself that. You're not a geek, Edward. You're a nice guy and any girl would be lucky to have you. Trust me, I know."

Words pounded through my brain, but I couldn't say them. _Would __you __be __lucky __to __have __me, __Bella?_ We sat in silence, nothing around us but a breeze blowing through the trees that lined the street.

She let out a sigh. "I have to go. Riley's picking me up in a little while. There's a party or something, I don't know. I think he just wants to get drunk and make out. That's all he ever wants to do."

There was so much sadness in her voice, but I let it go. It was her life, her choice. And if she wanted a jerk like Riley, who was I to stand in the way? She sat on the porch step, picking at her fingernails, and blowing wisps of hair out of her eyes. There was nothing I, Edward Cullen, could do about her problems. Nothing other than get my nose broken by her boyfriend. And that really wasn't something I wanted to deal with.

Later that evening, I watched her get into his car, his hands all over her body as he kissed her and held her and touched her. She laughed, giggled, and I knew she liked it. No matter what she said. I'd seen them late at night, when he brought her home. Through steamy car windows and my frosted bedroom panes, I could see things were happening between them. She never talked about it, I never asked. But I knew.

It was late one night in May, the last week of school, when I heard tapping against my bedroom window. Looking outside, I saw Bella, barefoot and wearing her pajamas. It had been years since she'd done that, but the look on her face told me all I needed to know. She needed me, and because she was Bella, I would never deny her.

"What are you doing?" I asked as I quietly walked out the back door and across the grass to where she was standing.

"Riley broke up with me," she said. It was then that I noticed the tears on her face.

I'd never seen her so upset, shaken, but my first instinct was to hold her, to offer my embrace as comfort. She melted against my chest, letting out heaving sobs. Smoothing my hand over her hair, I tried to calm her, worrying a bit when I noticed my mother looking out the back door. She waited for a moment before turning and leaving us alone.

"I'm sorry," I told her, saying over and over again that Riley was an idiot, that he didn't deserve her, that she could do way better than him. It was all true, and she needed to hear it.

After an hour or so, she had calmed down. She told me what happened, that Riley was going away for the summer, to California, and that he wanted to be single and free. He had assured her that when school started again, he'd probably want to date her, so she shouldn't tie herself down while he was gone. That infuriated me, that he thought it was okay for him to mess around, but not for her. Bella didn't like it either, and by the time she was ready to go home, she had decided she was done with Riley. She didn't need him.

"Edward," she said quietly, a nervous hitch in her voice.

"Yeah?"

"Let's get out of here next summer, just you and me. Let's just go. Drive, see places, just like we always said we were gonna do. Spend the whole summer going anywhere we want to. Do you think you'd do that with me? Could we really do it?"

I envisioned us together in my car, driving across the country. Stopping to eat at crappy diners, crashing at two-star hotels, singing along with the radio as scenery flew by. Smiling, I nodded my head. "Yeah, I think we could do that."

Her smile was beautiful. I hoped for just a moment that maybe as we drove across the country, she'd fall in love with me the same way I'd been with her for the past ten years.

"Okay, it's a deal. I have it all planned out, our whole trip, all the places we should see," she said, her eyes soft, excitement sparking through them. "Deal?" She held out her hand, waiting for me to shake. A laugh bubbled from my chest, and reached out my hand, letting it envelope hers.

"Deal."

And it was set.

If only the next year had been agreeable to our arrangement.

In August, a week before school started, Riley came home and within a week, he and Bella were back on track, only thicker than before. I knew Bella was having sex with him, I'd accidentally heard them one night as I walked Alice's dog for her. Bella's parents were out of town and her bedroom window was open.

I threw up in her yard. I doubt she ever even noticed. Or cared. As the days went by, I saw her less and less, talked to her hardly ever. The first day of our senior year was quiet, lonely for me. She performed in the assembly, I sat in the middle of the auditorium with Eric and Angela, a few other stragglers seated around us.

The football players whooped it up, laughing and punching each other. My cousin Emmett was in the midst of them, and though he smiled and waved as he walked past me, I knew that was all I'd get from him. He had a reputation to uphold, and a leggy blonde girlfriend in a short cheerleading skirt. She was on the squad with Bella, and after their performance, the girls all ran to their boyfriends. Riley lifted Bella up off the ground, his hands under her cheer skirt. She laughed, giggled, as he kissed her.

Our eyes met for just a moment. There was a flash of emotion, a flicker of something other than happiness on her face. But it was just for a moment, then she broke our gaze, returning to her life.

That was it. I knew then—that day—that our friendship was over. My life would never be the same, but Bella didn't seem to care, and that was something I would just have to get past.

As the school year continued, a new group of Freshman wormed their way into my small circle of friends. One girl, Tanya, was sweet, cute. She batted her eyelashes at me, though I wasn't sure why. She wasn't the prettiest girl I'd ever seen, not by a long shot. That would always be Bella. I knew that. Tanya was smart and funny, quiet most of the time. I respected her.

She and Alice became friends, and soon Tanya was at my house all the time, doing girlie things with Alice. Their personalities complimented each other, and I actually enjoyed spending time with my sister when Tanya was there to act as a buffer.

The first time I kissed her was awkward, weird. She was helping me clean up some of my dad's tools in the garage, after I'd worked on a science fair project. It was quick, nothing earth shattering, but her lips were soft, and I'd never felt lips before. Except for Bella's on a few occasions during our childhood, when she made me play "House" with her. I had to be the husband, she the wife, and she would peck my cheek, and once my lips, when I went off to work. I remembered each one of Bella's light kisses, but there was only one thing I remembered from my first kiss with Tanya. As I pulled away from her, I looked to the side and saw Bella in her yard, watching us. Her hands balled into fists, and she turned and ran into her house, a strange expression on her face.

Why did she even care who I kissed? It's not like we were friends anymore.

We were nothing, really, yet I couldn't help but wonder about her. Bella had always been this enigma to me, something that I just couldn't quite figure out. She was perfect in my opinion, but completely unattainable for someone in my position. She was the dream that I couldn't stop dreaming, even though I knew she would never be my reality, never be real for me. There was just something there, in her appearance, that wasn't right. It was like she was there, but not. Like no one truly understood her. No one got her. No one sang the song she was singing. But they were all too stupid and self absorbed to notice it.

Their loss.

I enjoyed spending time with Tanya, it was easy, simple. She was nice, my family liked her, there was no drama at school...it just "was" with us. We seemed natural, carefree. But I always felt like something was missing. A few times a day I would see Bella in the hallway at school, or in the cafeteria. She never smiled at me, never looked my way, never even acknowledged my existence. That hurt me. It broke my heart a little more with each effortless dismissal from her. It was like all the time we'd spent together meant nothing anymore. Before, she would sneak a smile in here or there, offer a little wave if she could, but all that had stopped. That's what hurt the most. I had known from the beginning that she and I would never be together, but I thought we'd be friends at least. Now, she didn't even seem to want that.

"Hey, Edward?" Tanya asked me one afternoon as we sat at my dining table, working on homework.

"What?"

"You know that Bella girl, that lives across the street?" she asked. Her finger was twisting nervously in her mouth, her teeth biting down on her nail.

"Yeah, what about her?" I was curious. Why was she asking about Bella?

Tanya let out a sigh. "Did I do something to upset her? I mean, I don't think I did, but it seems like she doesn't like me very much, and I can't figure out why."

"I don't know, I'm sure it's nothing. Why, did something happen?" I looked up at her, my interest piqued.

"Well, she ran into me in the hall the other day. It was just an accident, she came around the corner and I was there, but just the way she looked at me... It was like she hated me. There was this glare in her eyes, and she mumbled something under her breath, I don't know."

"Did she say anything else?" I asked.

"Yeah, she just said to watch where I was going and to stay out of her way."

Bella had never been a mean person, so the scene that Tanya was describing didn't sound like her at all. But then I had to remember, I hadn't spoken to Bella in almost four months. I really didn't know what she was like anymore.

"I'm sure it was nothing. You know how it is, the popular people trying to push the rest of us around. Just stay away from her, you shouldn't have any more problems." I rubbed my hand on her arm, trying to comfort her. When she smiled up at me, I leaned over and kissed her quickly, softly. She was okay after that, and there was no more Bella talk.

But I was still thinking about her.

For days, weeks, months I thought about Bella. I dreamed about how our senior year of high school should have gone. About the friendship that had withered away, all the wasted time we'd spent together over the years. How pointless it all had been. Before I knew it, prom had rolled around and Tanya was pressing me to ask her. I didn't even want to go, but seeing her tear up when Alice asked about a dress her grandmother had made for her convinced me. It was the least I could do. Tanya and I both knew our relationship wasn't some great, long lasting love affair. It was high school, sweet, innocent. I'd be leaving for college soon, and she still had three more years of high school. Neither of us was delusional enough to think we'd be together forever. That made it easier, knowing I wasn't going to break her heart.

The dance was a big deal around town, though I could have cared less. Bella was going with Riley, and was nominated for Prom Queen. I couldn't bring myself to vote against her, but I couldn't vote for her either, so I just didn't. My ballot was blank when I turned it in. I didn't care who won. I was too busy counting down the days until I got out of Forks. I just wanted to get started with my life.

Tanya looked pretty when I picked her up, her hair pulled back and curly. The red dress she had was nice, and I could tell she was excited to wear it. We had a great time at the dance, until the moment came for royalty to be announced. It was custom for the king and queen to dance together, while their attendants danced alongside them. Then half way through the song, the king and queen would dance with the class representatives, who would award them their gift certificate prizes. Unfortunately for me, I was one of the representatives, and I would be dancing with the queen. As I stood on the side of the stage, watching the nominees line up, I prayed with all I had that Bella wouldn't win. There was no way I'd be able to hold her in my arms and be okay.

Emmett and his girlfriend Rosalie were also nominated, and I hoped they would win. The crowd erupted in applause when Riley's name was announced as king, followed by Bella's name as queen. Emmett was happy, since it meant he wouldn't have to let Rose dance with anyone else, but my stomach began to twist, turn.

Half way through the song, my friend Angela and I made our way to the dance floor and waited for our turns. Riley was nice to Angela, winking as he sidled up next to her and put his hands on her hips. Bella stood before me, her eyes focused on my chest, my tie. She didn't say anything, she just stood there.

"Let's just get this over with," I whispered, taking her right hand in my left and placing my right hand on the small of her back.

Her breath sucked in quickly, and she kept her head bowed, her forehead against my shoulder. Never once during our time together did she look up at me, did she speak, did she relax against me. We'd once been so close, I'd held her this way countless times, but now...it wasn't right, we weren't right anymore. Maybe we never had been, maybe I'd just been fooling myself. It was all just a myth and I'd tricked myself into believing it. I'd been so blind.

As the song ended, I let go of her hand, reaching into my jacket and pulling out the certificates, holding them out to her. When she looked up, her eyes were filled with tears and her bottom lip was white from the force of her teeth pressing into it. "Edward?" she whispered. I was still for a moment, staring at her, unsure of what to do. When I saw Riley walking toward us, I held the cards out to her.

"Congratulations from the senior class of Forks High."

She whimpered a bit, shaking her head ever so slightly before Riley reached up, grabbing the cards from my hand. "Thanks, dude," he said, wrapping his arm around her waist and pushing his face into her neck. "Let's get outta here, baby. I want that dress off you, now," he murmured against her skin as her eyelids slid closed, tears slipping down her cheeks.

I turned away, not able to watch them anymore. Tanya was standing near the drink table, talking to some friends of ours. "You ready to go?" I asked. She looked a little surprised, but nodded in agreement, then followed close behind me as I left the room.

I didn't turn, my stare focused on the door, but I felt Bella's eyes on me. Burning into me as I quickly exited. I needed away from her, from everything.

"You okay?" Tanya asked as we sat parked in front of the only 24 hour diner in town. I knew other kids from school would be there once the dance was over, so I hoped we could beat the crowd. Get in and out before anyone saw us.

"Yeah, I'm okay. You want ice cream or something?" I asked, holding her hand as we walked into the little dining room. After we'd eaten what we wanted, we left. I was confused about what to do. My every thought was twisted around Bella in some way, but I couldn't ever have her. She'd made it painfully obvious over the past year. Tanya, on the other hand, was always there for me. She deserved more than I'd ever been willing to give her. I decided, as we drove down the street toward the edge of town, that maybe tonight would be the night I'd give her what she wanted.

The backseat was small, cramped, and our formal clothes weren't helping the situation. Tanya sat on my lap, the skirt of her dress pulled up around her waist. Her hands were in my hair, her lips on my lips, my neck, my chest. It felt good, right, and we were going farther than we ever had before. I was okay with it, I wanted it. When her hand slid between my stomach and my underwear, her fingers grazing over the head of my dick, I moaned.

"No, wait, I can't do this. It's not right, I can't," I said, pushing her off my lap and onto the seat beside me. "I'm so sorry, I thought I could do this, but this isn't us, Tanya. I can't."

She sat quietly for a moment, before nodding and letting out a sigh. "I know, I just thought maybe you'd changed your mind. I thought maybe after tonight, that you'd really be over her and we could move on, but I guess not."

I looked at her, curiosity coloring my words. "Over who? What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Bella."

We sat in silence for several seconds before she spoke again.

"I know you like her, Edward. It's okay, I mean, I like other guys, too. But I know I'm never going to be with them, they're never gonna look at me or notice me, and that's okay. They're just a dream, an unattainable desire that will never happen. You, on the other hand, you're real and you're wonderful and I'm so lucky to have you. Bella doesn't know what she's missing out on."

I let out a deep breath, nervous about confirming Tanya's suspicions. Finally, I nodded. "Yeah, it's never gonna happen with her, I know that. She's just a dream, but I have to let myself dream it, you know? I never used you, please don't think that."

Tanya smiled. "I know, Edward. It's okay, I get it. Plus, we both knew this wasn't a forever kinda thing, it's fine. We've got another month of school and then you'll graduate and you'll leave and we'll both be okay."

I hugged her to me, kissing her a few more times before finally deciding to take her home. I told Tanya that night that I loved her, and I meant it. But not the same way I would have meant it if I'd said it to Bella.

~o~O~o~


	2. Chapter 2  Polaroid

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is Cherry Coke, which is keeping me awake. I think I'm getting sick...just in time for Thanksgiving. :D Just my luck. :D**

**Thanks to my girlies – _MaggieMay14,__EdwardsBloodType,_ _UnchangedAffections,_ _Twilight44,_ _Luxure,_ and my wifey _Mrs. Robward_. I don't know what I'd do without these amazing girls. They're all pretty wonderful, and so helpful, too. :D**

**There's a banner for this, linked on my profile. It's pretty, and it has pictures. It's good. :)**

**_Lyricalkris_, I hope you like this. Thanks for the prompt, it was fun to work with. I don't know the song and I keep seeing it referred to as "She Isn't Real" and "Vermillion Part 2," so I'll trust what you say. :)**

**~o~O~o~**

_She is everything to me  
>The unrequited dream<br>A song that no one sings  
>The unattainable<br>She's a myth that I have to believe in  
>All I need to make it real is one more reason <em>

"**Vermillion,**** Pt.****2"****by ****Slipknot**

~o~O~o~

Chapter 2 – Polaroid

Graduation came and went, and the next thing I knew it was a few weeks later—my birthday. I hadn't seen much of Tanya since school ended, she had been busy volunteering at a summer camp for her church. Job hunting was almost a waste of time in Forks. There were no jobs to be had, unless someone went away to college or died. I only needed to endure two more months and then I'd be gone. As I sat staring out my bedroom window each night—watching Bella's house, her bedroom window, what time Riley brought her home—I knew I could do it. I could last another couple of months.

"Edward?" my mother said as we sat around the table with the cake she'd baked me. "Your father and I have a gift for you. It's not really conventional, and we're a little nervous, but we trust you."

Her words and the look on her face had me worried, but then my cousin Emmett came barreling in through the garage door, a box in his hand.

"Happy birthday, Cuz!" he said, tossing the box onto the table in front of me before dropping into the seat next to mine. "Open it!"

His excitement was almost contagious, and I tore into the wrapping paper, opening the long, slim box and finding an envelope. Inside of it were several maps, hotel and restaurant gift cards, and cash.

"What is this?" I asked, looking up at my parents.

"Well, remember how you used to always talk about going away for the summers while you were in college? How you wanted to see places, tour the country?" my mom asked.

Instantly my thoughts ran to Bella. That had been our plan, our idea. We were going to do it together, get out of Forks and enjoy our lives while seeing places we'd grown up dreaming about.

"Yeah," I said hesitantly.

My father smiled. "Now you can go. You have the rest of the summer and everything you need in that envelope. You can just go and not worry about anything until August when you start school. And Emmett's going to go with you."

I turned to face him, his smile beaming back at me. "I got you something, too," he said, holding up a plastic bag from the town's grocery store.

"Nice wrapping job, Em," I teased.

"Yeah, whatever. Here, open it. Just keep in mind, I'm broke, so...you know."

I opened the bag and found what looked like a 20 year old Polaroid camera and a couple boxes of film.

"Emmett, you know I have a digital camera, right?" I asked, also thinking about the camera in my phone.

"Yeah, but dude, this will be awesome! We can take pictures and have them right then! And we can send pictures to people while we're gone. Like, Rose wants a picture of me at the Grand Canyon, and now we can totally do it!"

I laughed at his exuberance, and shook my head at his lack of skills when it came to technology.

"Emmett, I can take my lap top and we can email pictures back every night if you want. Or I can do it from my phone."

Em shook his head. "No, no way. This is our trip away, and all we're taking are my old cell phone, this camera, stamps, and envelopes. Not computers or digital anything. We're old schoolin' it, baby!"

I didn't think he could possibly be serious, but as we loaded up my car a few days later, I saw Emmett holding every electronic gadget I'd just packed into the trunk. "Put it in the house, or I put it in the trash can. Your choice." His expression left no room for negotiation, and with a defeated heart I returned each of my precious items back to my bedroom. How I would survive nearly two months with no computer, no cell phone, and no internet access, I had no idea.

We pulled out of my driveway early the next morning, and I was surprised to see Bella standing in her doorway, watching us. I hadn't said one word to her since Prom night, but my heart clenched as she lifted her hand and offered me a small wave, then reached back to brush tears away from her eyes.

I turned my head and stared at the road, not even giving her one backward glance as we left. I had two months away from my life, and I didn't intend to spend it thinking about Bella Swan.

Driving with Emmett took some getting used to. From his insistence that we listen to a different type of music every two hours, to his need to continuously play travel games. There were several times throughout the first couple of days, I almost turned around and went home. Then I remembered what awaited me there...nothing. That kept me focused on the open road ahead of us, and soon I found myself relaxing and letting my guard down. This trip was something I would most likely remember for the rest of my life, and I intended to make the most of it.

We drove along the California Coast Highway for several hours, finally stopping just outside of Los Angeles. While Emmett flirted with bikini clad sunbathers, I took the opportunity to wet my feet in the cool ocean water. I watched the surfers as they paddled out and then rode back in on the waves. The beach was full of different kinds of people, and I wondered what it would be like to live close enough that you could just go to the beach anytime you wanted. Of course we had beaches in Washington, but the ones I frequented were cold and rocky. I loved the warm sand of Southern California.

"Isabella!" I heard a woman yelling from somewhere behind me. Suddenly a dark headed little girl in a bright blue bathing suit ran past me, her laughter filling the air. I turned and saw her frantic mother several yards down the beach, trying to catch her daughter. The girl couldn't have been more than three or four years old, and when I looked back in the direction she was headed, I could see where she was going. The water.

"Isabella, come back! Don't get in the water!" The woman's voice was so panicked that I couldn't keep myself from helping out, and I dropped my shoes in the sand, sprinting toward the little girl. Just as she was about waist deep in the water, a wave came and pulled her legs out from under her, causing her to plunge into the icy blueness. She screamed a bit before being silenced by the water.

I reached in where I'd last seen her and scooped her up in my arms, lifting the sputtering girl from the waves and holding her to my chest as she began to cough and cry. Her mother reached the water's edge just as I stepped out of the waves. "Thank you, oh thank you so much!" she cried, her hands rubbing over her daughter before lifting her from my arms and into her own. "She was so excited to come here, but she can't swim. She just got away from me. If you hadn't been here..."

The woman began to cry, sniffling as she tightly hugged her little girl.

"It was no problem, I'm just glad I could help."

Emmett came running toward us, a worried look on his face. "Everything okay?" he asked.

I nodded, looking at the small girl that was clinging to her mother. She turned her head to look at me and my breath caught in my throat. She had the biggest, darkest brown eyes I'd ever seen. Only once before had I seen eyes nearly that dark, and they belonged to the one person I was trying hardest not to think about.

"Bella, can you say thank you to this nice man?" her mother said. The little girl batted her eyelashes at me, and instantly I was overwhelmed by images of my Bella when we were young, how she would sit next to me on my porch and look up at me, her eyelashes blinking as she watched me.

"Thank you," she whispered.

A smile crossed my face. "You're welcome." Her cheeks pinked up a bit, and I knew she'd be all right. Hopefully her close call had scared her enough that she wouldn't run away from her mother again.

"You ready to go?" Emmett asked.

"Sure."

I watched Isabella and her mother walk back down the beach, toward a man and two older boys that were obviously waiting for them. The little girl's dark eyes peeked over her mother's shoulder and her hand popped up, waving at me as she smiled. Then she turned her face into her mother's neck and I was forgotten.

But I didn't forget. I had come on this trip to get away from my problems, and the first stop smacked me across the head with reminders of the main thing I was trying to leave behind.

"Emmett, you got that camera?" I asked.

He smiled. "I knew you'd come around! Yeah, I'll grab it for you."

He ran back to the parking lot, getting the Polaroid camera, and I took a picture of the pier and the water, determined to remember the first place we'd stopped. The first experience we'd had on our trip.

The first place Bella had always wanted to visit.

After a long night relaxing in our hotel room, Emmett and I headed out for the next stop on our trip. We had always heard about the Grand Canyon and how huge it was. As a child, Bella and I would dig in the dirt, musing over how long it must have taken for the Canyon to be created, and where all the dirt that had once been there ended up.

When we pulled into the parking lot at the South Rim of the canyon, the air outside was fresh and warm—nothing like the air in Washington. Emmett and I spent the day hiking along some of the trails. I laughed at his eagerness to run down them, then whined at my stupidity in following him. It took a lot longer to hike back up the steep pathways than it had to jog down them.

We set up a tent in a campground there, enjoying the scenery around us and playing Uno well into the night. Without our phones or computers, we were often at a loss for things to do to pass the time. Luckily, the gift shop at the main lodge sold several different card games, and I had stocked up.

Before we left the next morning, I grabbed the Polaroid, taking a picture of the different rock colors that made up the canyon walls. In the back of my mind, I knew that Bella would have loved to see it, and for just a split second, I wished she was there with me.

The next several weeks seemed to repeat themselves. Every few days Emmett and I would pull into some new place, spend time enjoying the scenery and getting to know the area, then I would take a picture and think of how much Bella would have loved it. No matter how hard I tried to keep her out of my head, she just kept creeping back in.

Toward the end of July when we called home to let our parents know when we'd be back, my mother gave me some unexpected news.

"I heard Bella started working at the coffee shop in town," she said, her voice a little guarded, like she didn't know if she should be talking to me about my old friend or not.

"Oh yeah? You mean the diner? Why? I mean, school starts in a few weeks. Why would she get a job when she's leaving soon?"

Bella had a scholarship to the University of Oregon and was going to attend their School of Journalism and Communication. She had always dreamed of being a reporter and writing stories that people could identify with and understand easier than many of the stories that were printed in newspapers or presented in television news programs.

Why she would suddenly take a job in Forks was beyond me. She was getting out, living the dream she'd always had. Granted, when we were younger, I'd hoped we would go away together. We had waffled back and forth between the University of Oregon and the University of Washington. As it turned out, she would be attending one while I attended the other. That's just the way fate worked, apparently.

"Well," my mother said, "she put her scholarship on hold for a year. She's staying here. I heard she's moving in with that boyfriend of hers. Her father's not too thrilled about it. Or at least he didn't sound like he was when I talked to him the other night."

I let out a sigh. So Riley was behind her giving up her dreams. I should have been more surprised, but I wasn't. I was sad about Bella's choice, and thought a lot about her over our last few days on the road. Soon enough we were pulling into Forks and anxious for a little time home before we were packing up and moving on to college.

Bella was no where to be seen, though I drove by the diner several times, parking along the street and just watching her through the windows. She looked sad, lonely, broken. She wore hardly any makeup, her hair pulled back in a tight ponytail, and her lips never curved up in a smile of any kind. Seeing her now, I never would have thought she was the happy go lucky girl I'd loved all my life. It was as if she were two different people, and I wondered as I sat in my car, which one had been the real her?

Each time I was there, it was as if she knew someone was watching her. She always paused, turning and looking straight out the window in the direction I was parked. I doubted she could see me, but she watched for several seconds, before finally dropping her eyes to the ground, rubbing her hand across her face, and then turning away and walking through the kitchen door.

I didn't see her again. I left for college and never looked back. Emmett was going to school with me, as well as Rosalie his girlfriend. Emmett and I were both in the dorms, though in different buildings. I didn't see him a lot, but if ever I needed anything, I knew he was there. I made friends, got involved in my classes, and really started to take charge of who I was as a person. I got to know myself, what I was good at, and what I wanted out of life. It was an amazing experience, and I loved every minute of it.

I went to several parties throughout the year, had a few dates here and there, and kissed a couple of girls. Nothing more than that ever felt right, and still, each time I was alone with a girl, no matter how amazing she was, my mind always wandered back to Bella...the first girl I'd ever really loved. The one I still loved, even if I didn't want to admit it to myself.

When summer rolled around again, Emmett and I returned to Forks. Rose was spending the summer in Europe with her family, and Emmett asked if I was interested in doing another road trip. After sitting home for two weeks, bored out of my skull, I agreed.

I tried to find out about Bella without really asking anything. Alice knew a few things, mainly gossip that had floated around the high school. Bella was living with Riley in a little apartment on the outskirts of town. She was still working at the diner full time, and also helping out at the town library. Riley did some construction work and was taking classes at the community college in Port Angeles.

It angered me that Bella had given up so much for him. In my eyes, she'd abandoned every dream she had, and I was actually glad that I had no contact with her.

One night, a few nights before I left for my next adventure with Emmett, Tanya called and asked if I wanted to go out, catch up a little bit. I hadn't seen her since Christmas, when I had literally bumped into her at the town Christmas Tree Lighting, so I agreed, anxious to see how she was.

I wasn't too surprised when she pulled into the diner. There weren't that many places in town to go, and since she had just gotten her driver's license, she wanted to drive.

We walked in and took an empty booth along the side of the building. It wasn't long before a waitress stood next to our table dropping our menu's in front of us.

"Hi, I'm Bella and I'll be your wait-"

I looked up, my eyes catching hers, and she stopped.

"Edward."

I swallowed, grunting as I cleared my throat.

"Bella. Hey, how are you?"

I could be civil to her, right? I mean, we'd spent more time in our lives as friends than we had as enemies. I could do that, I could be nice to her.

Her eyes bounced back and forth between Tanya and I, finally settling on me. "I'm okay. How are you? How's school?" Her voice was soft, timid. Not the strong and confident tone she always had in public before.

"It's good. How about you? How's your school going?" I asked, knowing perfectly well that she wasn't going to school.

"Oh, um...I didn't go last year. I put my scholarship on hold, so I'm hoping to go this year. I've been working, saving money and all. But yeah, this August I'm outta here," she said with a little laugh.

"That's great," I said, though I was sure my face didn't show the same expression that my words conveyed.

"So, what will you two have?" she asked, leading Tanya and I to place our orders and her to disappear behind the counter.

The rest of our meal was quiet. Tanya and I talked a lot, each of us telling about the experiences we'd had over the past year. It was good to talk to her again, to enjoy her company. She had been my best friend during my last year of high school, and it was nice to settle into that connection again.

Soon enough we were done and ready to go. Bella was busy with other customers, and I offered her a small wave as I walked out the door. She just watched me, finally waving in return before I turned around and left.

~o~O~o~


	3. Chapter 3 Mount Rushmore

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a love of Tim McGraw songs, and his song "Everywhere" is kinda what inspired this story. But don't worry, I'm a HEA kinda girl. :)**

**Thanks to my girlies – _MaggieMay14, __EdwardsBloodType,_ _UnchangedAffections,_ _Twilight44,_ _Luxure,_ and my wifey _Mrs. Robward_. I don't know what I'd do without these amazing girls. They're all pretty wonderful, and so helpful, too. :D**

**There's a banner for this, linked on my profile. It's pretty, and it has pictures. It's good. :)**

**_Lyricalkris_, I hope you like this. Thanks for the prompt, it was fun to work with. :D**

**~o~O~o~**

_She is everything to me  
>The unrequited dream<br>A song that no one sings  
>The unattainable<br>She's a myth that I have to believe in  
>All I need to make it real is one more reason <em>

"**Vermillion,**** Pt. ****2"****by**** Slipknot**

~o~O~o~

Chapter 3 – Mount Rushmore

A few days later, Emmett and I pulled out of town again, a new list of places to see over the next couple of months. Since the previous summer had ended up being mostly about visiting places Bella had always wanted to go, thereby making me think of her constantly, I decided that this trip would be about what I wanted. Emmett had plenty of input, too, but I hoped that if I was able to focus on me and my wants, I would be able to also forget about Bella. She'd obviously moved on with her life, since she was still living with Riley and planning to go to Oregon for school, so it was time I moved on with mine.

One of the first places we went to was Mount Rushmore. I'd always wanted to see it, especially since the idea that men had carved faces into a mountain side had fascinated me since I was a little boy. The area was beautiful and the weather was great as we walked around the park grounds, hiking different trails and taking lots of pictures. I'd managed to start a work out routine during the school year, so I was in much better shape and able to keep up with Emmett a lot easier.

There were some teenage girls there, obviously part of a high school trip of some sort, since they looked to be a couple of years younger than us. Three of them followed Emmett and I for an hour or so before we finally turned around and talked to them. One of them flirted with me quite a bit, and I figured why not? I had nothing to lose, so I flirted right back. She was from Iowa and was 17. She was really smart, and as we walked around a little more, enjoying the outdoors, she let me know that her group was staying overnight at a hotel in a nearby town. Emmett and I had yet to find a hotel room, so that night as we drove into town, I suggested the local inn, talking up the continent breakfast that they had. Emmett was all for free food, and knew it would save us from buying breakfast the next day, so we booked a room.

There wasn't a lot to do in the town, but there was a movie theater. They had a late showing that night of an old _Jaws_ movie. I called the room of the girls we'd met, and they assured me that they would meet us in the lobby. We all piled into my car and spent the night watching a crazed, overgrown shark as it attacked innocent swimmers in the ocean. Each time Jaws did something, the girls would jump, and soon enough, Heidi was practically sitting in my lap. Her friends Irina and Maggie were fawning all over Emmett, who simply played them along. I knew he'd never cheat on Rosalie, so I didn't pay him much attention.

Heidi was far more experienced than I was, as it soon became apparent, and after the movie, we all went back to the hotel. Emmett was ready for bed, so he went back to our room, Irina and Maggie tagged along, intending to watch tv while Heidi and I went to their room. An hour later, I wasn't a virgin anymore, and I kissed her long and tenderly before leaving her room. The girls were up and gone first thing in the morning, and I didn't see them again. The only thing I had to remember Heidi by as a leather bracelet that she'd given me. It was brown, and as I looked at it in the morning light, I could only think of one thing.

It was the same color as Bella's eyes.

The next few weeks were filled with odd tourist traps, the occasional redneck and hillbilly, and more bugs than I'd ever seen in my life. After looping through West Virginia, Kentucky, Tennessee, and Missouri, we found ourselves parked along a dirt road in Kansas, marveling at how flat the land was, and how far we could see. The sun was setting, causing the grass that swayed in the breeze to shimmer and almost sparkle. The pink and purple colors in the sky, combined with that sparkle, reminded me of the shoes Bella had worn when we were children.

I closed my eyes, letting a long breath out as I mentally chastised myself for constantly thinking of her. The entire trip had been planned—on my part, anyway—around forgetting her, yet everywhere we went, there was something that reminded me. I couldn't get away from Bella, no matter how hard I tried.

Emmett laid next to me on the hood of my car, his hand tucked beneath his head as he stared up at the sky. "Isn't this just splendid?" he said.

I let out a laugh. "Splendid?" I said. "Really? Where did that come from?"

"I don't know. I just was thinking about words that just don't get used enough. I think splendid is severely underused in the English language."

"You're a smart guy, Emmett." He was always surprising me, making me laugh. I had really enjoyed the time we'd spent together over the past two summers. As we plotted out our route for the last few weeks, I found myself hoping we'd be able to take another road trip during our next summer, too.

Soon enough, we were back at school, immersed in classes and homework. Emmett and I were living in the same dorm building, just on different floors. I had gotten to be more friendly with Rosalie, and she introduced me to several of her friends. One friend, Rachel, lived next door to her, and I soon found out that we had a lot in common. Including the fact that we both really liked sex. Especially with each other.

The year went by quickly, and in March, just as I was considering asking Rachel to join Emmett and I, and maybe Rose, for our summer trip, we got into a fight. A bad one. Apparently she had "issues" from a previous relationship, and she didn't trust me. At all.

Each time I went somewhere, she would pepper me with questions afterward, wondering who I'd talked to, what was said, if there were any other women around. It was annoying, especially since each time I assured her I had done nothing wrong, yet she didn't believe me.

We agreed to take a break for a little while, to try and get some perspective on our relationship. The next week I kept hearing whispers between Emmett and Rosalie. After asking what was going on, Rose told me that she'd seen a guy leaving Rachel's room the morning before. Rachel confessed that she's slept with someone else, and begged Rose not to tell me. I went to see her, telling her right away that I knew about the other guy. She cried and I felt bad, but I knew in my heart that it just wasn't meant to be with us. I hugged her and told her that I loved her, because I did, and then I left the room.

I didn't look back.

The next two months passed quickly, and I thought it was funny, yet sad. Each day there was something that reminded me of Bella, yet never once did I see anything that reminded me of Rachel.

Emmett and I planned another road trip, this time bound for the East Coast. Rose was staying with her grandmother for the summer, put was planning to fly out and meet us in New York City once we got there. She wasn't sure if she'd stay and ride home with us or just fly back, but either way I knew it would be fun.

My mom was happy to see me, and I was shocked to see Alice. She was going to be a senior in high school that fall, and it seemed as though overnight she'd grown up. Well, not so much up, since she was still a short little thing, but she'd blossomed, as I always heard my mother say. She was obsessed with some new boy in school, Jasper something or other, and they talked on the phone almost every night.

Late one evening as I sat in the kitchen enjoying the homemade apple pie my mom had made, she came in and joined me at the table.

"So are you excited for your trip this summer?" she asked.

"Yeah, we've been planning for awhile, so I think it'll be fun."

"Oh good. I was hoping maybe you wouldn't leave this year until after your birthday, give me a little more time with you."

She smiled at me as I shoveled another bite of pie into my mouth. "Okay."

As I chewed, she nervously twisted her fingers together, her forearms resting on the table. "So, I talked to Bella the other day."

Huh, Bella? My mother wanted to talk about Bella? That was interesting, and I was curious. "Oh yeah?"

"She moved back in with her parents a few weeks ago. She finally left that boyfriend of hers. She seems a little happier, I guess."

"That's good." I didn't have much to say when it came to Bella, though I would forever be curious about her.

"She always asks about you, every time I see her. She's such a good girl, Edward. You know, I really thought tha-"

"Mom, stop, okay? Bella and I aren't friends anymore. That was her choice, not mine. She's the one who caved to peer pressure and cut me off. I never asked her to choose, I was happy to take anything she'd give me. She's the one who chose this, not me."

My mother nodded in agreement with my words. I hoped that my tone wasn't too severe, yet I knew it needed to be stern enough to stop her train of thought.

"It's just a shame, that's all. She's given up so much, and she doesn't deserve the things that have happened to her."

"What do you mean she's given up? She chose to stay here, to move in with her boyfriend. She chose to give up her scholarship and never leave this town. It was her choice to live here forever and just shack up with some loser and pop out a hundred babies. How can you say she doesn't deserve what she gets?"

My mother's eyes met mine. "Edward, do you even know why she stayed here? Why she put her scholarship on hold that first year?"

"Yeah, because she wanted to be with Riley."

"No, Edward. Her mother was sick. She stayed here so that she could help take care of her. Drive her to doctor appointments, help her with her treatments, all that kinda stuff. And she moved in with her boyfriend as a way to give her parents some privacy since the doctors didn't think Renee would survive very long."

Everything screeched to a halt. Her mother was sick? Why hadn't anyone ever told me? How had I missed this?

"I didn't know, why didn't you say anything?" I asked, honestly curious as to why my mother had kept this from me.

"I didn't want to worry you, and there was nothing you could do, anyway."

"How is her mom doing? I mean, I didn't hear that she'd died, so, what?"

My mother pulled a cup into her hands, trailing her fingers along the rim of it. "She's doing better, but it was close there for a while. Last fall Bella was supposed to go to Oregon, use her scholarship. Renee was feeling better, she'd improved quite a lot. When Bella talked to the school, she was told that the scholarship would only be half, meaning she had to pay the rest herself. She couldn't."

"Why couldn't she? She said she'd been working and saving her money." My mother didn't say anything, and my heart sank a bit. "What happened?"

"Honey, Bella wasn't saving money. She was paying her mother's medical expenses. Or at least trying to help pay them. Charlie's a police officer, he doesn't make much money, and with Renee sick, she couldn't work. They never would have been able to afford to pay all the bills, so Bella went to work. You know she worked two jobs, so there just wasn't any time left over for college classes."

I rubbed my hand over my eyes. Everything I thought I knew was a lie. All the things I'd been so certain about for the past two years were nothing like I'd thought. As I sat across from my mother, taking in all the information she was giving me, I started to wonder, yet again. Who was Bella? Really? Which side of her was the real one?

"She said her boyfriend was taking her money, or the little bit she had left from each paycheck. He was spending it at the casino on the res. When he started coming home drunk each night and then throwing her around a little bit, she knew she had to leave. She didn't want to move back in with her parents, but she didn't have any other choice."

Riley had hit her? My heart started to beat faster and I hoped, with every cell in my body, that I didn't see him in town. If I did, I wasn't sure I'd be able to stop myself from punching him. My work out routine had continued over the past year, so I knew I was in decent shape, but depending on his size, I might be in trouble if I started something with him.

"You should really try and go see her sometime while you're here. She could use a friend, Edward. She needs someone, and you were always so good together. Maybe you could just try, for me." Our eyes met again, and I could see how sincere she was being. "For me, Edward. Please."

I nodded. "Yeah, I'll go over tomorrow."

We sat at the table for a few more minutes, until my mother excused herself and went upstairs to go to bed. I sat out on my front porch late into the night, just watching Bella's house. Watching the light go on and off in her bedroom and wondering what she was like now. It had been a year since I'd seen or spoken to her, and almost three years since I'd last really talked to her. What was she like now? Would she be my same Bella from before? The unknown scared me, yet at the same time, I was excited to find out. Once her light went out for good, I stood and walked back into the house. I would absolutely be paying her a visit the next day.

It was just after lunch when I finally found myself walking across the street. My mom had hinted about it all morning, though Alice never noticed. Apparently, Jasper had asked her to a movie that night, and all she could talk about was what outfit she should wear.

I knocked on the screen door and waited, finally hearing footsteps across the hardwood floor of the living room. When the door opened, I looked up.

"Edward?" Bella said, pushing the screen door open so I could see her more clearly.

"Hi, Bella. How are you?"

Her eyes were wide with shock, and it made me chuckle a bit.

"I'm okay. W-what are you doing here?" she asked slowly, her teeth nervously biting into her bottom lip, just like she always did when we were younger.

"I wanted to see you, see how you're doing. I thought maybe we could catch up a bit, if you'd like."

"Alright," she said softly.

"Can I come in?"

She glanced behind her quickly, looking as though she wasn't sure if she should let me inside the house. "Um, why don't we just sit on the porch steps, that'll be fine."

I wanted to see her mother, to see for myself that all the things my mom had told me were really true. "Can't I come inside, instead?" I asked.

"Well, it's just that... I'd rather sit outside, if you don't mind."

"Bella, it's kinda warm today, wouldn't it be better if-"

"Bella, honey, who is it?" I heard from inside the house. Bella's eyelids slid closed and she took a deep breath.

"Mom, it's just a friend. I'll be outside." She opened the door wider to step out, and as she did, I pushed past her and walked into the house. I knew it wasn't very polite, but I was a man on a mission. I needed answers, and this was how I planned to get them.

"Mrs. Swan?" I called out, walking through the entry way and into the living room. Settled in the middle of the room was a rather large hospital type bed with several monitors located around it. Lying on the bed was Bella's mother, a light blue blanket pulled up around her chest.

"Edward?" she said once she saw me. "Edward Cullen, is that you?"

I smiled. "Hi, Mrs. Swan. How are you doing? My mother said I needed to get over here and see you and Bella. She wanted me to say hello, see if you needed anything."

"Oh Edward, it's so good to see you! My my, look how grown up you've gotten." She smiled, and I could tell it was hard for her to do, but she was trying her best. "Come sit right here, college man. Tell me all about school and those amazing road trips you take every summer."

I walked toward the bed, sitting down in a chair next to it. Bella had followed me into the room and was standing in the doorway, her arms folded across her chest. "Mom, I'm sure he has other things to do than sit here and talk to us."

I glanced over at her. "No, I don't, actually."

She let out a small huff, then sat down on the sofa on the other side of the room from me. Mrs. Swan and I talked about school for a few minutes, and it felt nice to be in their home again. I remembered all the afternoons I'd spent as a child, sitting in her kitchen as she attempted to bake some new recipe she'd just gotten. She was always interested in my life and what I was up to. It felt good to have someone to talk to, other than my own parents, and I really enjoyed those times.

"So tell me, Edward, are you dating anyone special?" she said with a wink.

"Oh, no. I uh...I was seeing someone earlier this year, but that ended in March. Her name was Rachel, she was great, but yeah...it just wasn't meant to be, I guess."

I glanced up at Bella as she sat still on the couch. She stiffened at my words, her foot nervously tapping on the floor.

"You know, I always knew you'd be a real ladies man one day," Mrs. Swan said with a giggle. "I used to tell Bella 'He's gonna be a heart breaker some day, that boy is,' didn't I, Bella? Didn't I always say that about our Edward, here?"

Bella started to turn red, her cheeks blushing. It was something I hadn't seen in years, and the sight of it flooded my mind with childhood memories. I loved it.

"Hmmm, you know, I'd always hoped that one day Bella would see what a catch you were, but it just didn't happen. I mean, for as fond of you as she was, I just thought... Oh well. Although now that you're back, I guess-"

"Mother!" Bella said loudly. "Mom, please."

Mrs. Swan sighed. "Oh, sorry." Her eyes caught mine and she smirked, knowing exactly what she'd been doing. "Well, I think I'll take a little nap now. I'm suddenly quite tired."

I smiled. "It was good to see you, Mrs. Swan," I said as I stood and leaned over to kiss her cheek. "I'll come back by before I leave for my trip, alright?"

"I would love that, Edward. I'm always here, so just let yourself in. Anytime."

"Bye," I said, walking toward the door.

"I'm gonna see Edward out," Bella said, following me out of the room.

"You still wanna catch up?" I asked, hoping that she would be willing to sit with me and talk.

She nervously pushed a lock of hair behind her ear, as her eyes stayed glued to the floor. "Um, I guess."

We sat outside on her front porch steps, next to each other but with about two feet of space between us. "So she's why you didn't go away to school?" I asked, wanting to get right into things and not waste anymore time.

"Yeah. Um, she got sick and I couldn't leave. My dad needed me. They don't have anyone else around here, you know? Plus the doctor's were saying she only had a few months left. I couldn't have lived with myself if I'd gone off to Oregon while she sat here dying. I wanted time with her, so I stayed."

"Why did you move in with Riley?"

Her eyes got wide for a moment, then she let out a deep sigh. "That was a mistake. I thought I was helping, giving my parents time to be together. I didn't want to get in the way, but I needed to be close enough to help. He was getting a place and he offered for me to move in. There were two bedrooms, which is the only reason my parents were okay with it. Obviously that lasted about a minute. Once I was moved in, we shared a bedroom, of course. I think my dad chose to believe we were just roommates. It made things easier for him."

"Oh," I said, trying to understand what her life must have been like during that time. "I'm sorry I wasn't around for you, to help with things. I didn't know about your mom."

"Edward, you didn't owe me anything. This wasn't your problem, you didn't have to help me. Besides, I would have just pushed you away, anyhow. After the way I'd treated you, I was mortified to be around you. I felt so horrible."

We were both silent for a few moments before I finally spoke. "Bella, it's just the way things are. I know that. We just weren't meant to be, not even friends. It's okay, I mean, it is what it is, you know?"

"It shouldn't have been that way," she said quietly. "I was such an idiot. You were the best friend I've ever had, and I just let you go. I threw everything away, and for nothing. For pride and popularity and the people that I thought were my friends. I was so stupid."

I noticed her wiping at her eyes and it made my heart ache. "Bella, it's fine. I understand. I mean, yeah, it hurt me and I wish it hadn't of happened, but I get it. Forks is a small town, there are stereotypes and clique's and expectations. I know that, I'm not completely out of it," I said as I laughed softly. "I know you did what you needed to do, and I'm okay with that. You had to make your way, just like I did. It turned out for the best, right?"

"Did it?" she asked, her eyes suddenly burning into mine. "Is this the best? The way we are now, is that what was best for us? Because I don't think it is."

I looked at her, really looked at her. She seemed older, tired, burdened. I wanted to make it better. Even after everything we'd been through, I wanted to make her life easier for her, in any way that I could.

"I don't know," I told her. "Honestly, I don't know what's best. I mean, my life isn't what I thought it would be, but I'm okay with it. I always knew I couldn't have you, not for anything more than just a sometime friend, and I was okay with that. I was willing to take what you could give me. I never expected anything more from you."

"I did."

"What do you mean, you did? You did what?"

She looked down at the ground in front of her, her mouth opening and closing several times as though she couldn't quite figure out what to say. "I expected more from us. More for us. I always thought we'd leave Forks, that we'd go to places where it didn't matter who we were, and we'd be happy together. I always wanted that."

Her voice was so quiet, so filled with emotion, and it shook as she spoke. "I always had such a crush on you, you know? I knew no one would understand, and I didn't think you felt the same way, so I never said anything. It was silly, I know. I couldn't help it, you were the best friend I ever had."

Bella had crushed on me? What? I didn't know how that was possible. I looked at her, at the girl that I'd grown up with and what a beautiful woman she had turned into. Even through the sadness that surrounded her, she was still the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. It was no wonder why, even after all these years, I couldn't stop thinking about her, dreaming about her. She would always be my "one" and I couldn't believe that she'd felt for me even a portion of what I'd felt for her.

"Wow, I didn't know that," I said.

"Yeah, well, it's not something I really broadcasted, you know?"

I laughed. "Yeah, that would have been interesting. I'm sure Forks High would have been totally fine with that."

Her voice was soft. "I didn't care."

I let out a long sigh. Just because we'd obviously been attracted to each other at one point didn't mean anything would ever come of it. Bella and I both led such different lives now, and I would be leaving in a few short weeks. There was no reason to think we could start up a friendship again. It just wouldn't be worth it.

"I was wondering, if maybe we could be friends again," she said. I could hear the nerves in her voice, and I thought about what she said for a moment, internally laughing at the fact that I'd just told myself there was no point in rekindling our failed friendship. Before I could speak, she continued. "I know I let you down before, but I promise I won't do it again. And I know you're dating at school and stuff, so it's not like I'll pressure for a romance or anything. I just miss my friend. I'd like to be friends again, if you would be willing to try."

"I don't know, Bella." I wasn't sure what to do; this was something I'd never thought possible.

"Just friends, Edward. I promise, I'll be a better friend this time."

Her eyes were pleading with me. I could never tell her no. Not ever.

"Okay, friends."

She smiled at me, her lips turning up in the most beautiful grin, which caused my heart to do flips and flops that it hadn't done in years.

"So, when do you leave on your trip?" she asked.

I told her about our plans, that I had a few weeks before we took off, and she smiled, asking if we could spend some time together before I left. I was only too happy to agree.

~o~O~o~


	4. Chapter 4 Times Square

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a huge bag of clothes that my youngest has grown out of. I'm so glad my sister has 3 girls that are younger than my baby. :D And that she likes hand-me-downs. :D**

**Thanks to my girlies – _MaggieMay14,__EdwardsBloodType,_ _UnchangedAffections,_ _Twilight44,_ _Luxure,_ and my wifey _Mrs. Robward_. I don't know what I'd do without these amazing girls. They're all pretty wonderful, and so helpful, too. :D**

**There's a banner for this, linked on my profile. It's pretty, and it has pictures. It's good. :)**

**_Lyricalkris_, I hope you like this. Thanks for the prompt, it was fun to work with. I didn't mean for this story to be as angsty as it is. I really didn't. :D**

**~o~O~o~**

_She is everything to me  
>The unrequited dream<br>A song that no one sings  
>The unattainable<br>She's a myth that I have to believe in  
>All I need to make it real is one more reason <em>

"**Vermillion, ****Pt. ****2"****by**** Slipknot**

~o~O~o~

Chapter 4 – Times Square

The next three weeks were filled with late night talks, random and needless trips to the diner to visit her when she was working, and text messages at all hours of the day and night. We were falling back into a relationship rather easily, and it was comfortable. I was happy. She bought me a few boxes of film for the Polaroid camera on my birthday, asking if I'd take some pictures for her as Emmett and I traveled.

This year, I'd finally talked Emmett into taking our laptops. I'd convinced him that it would be helpful as far as meeting up with Rosalie, and he quickly caved. I promised to email Bella every chance I got, and to send pictures back from each of the places we visited. She was sitting next to me as I blew out the candles on my birthday cake. When I walked her home that night, she held my hand, letting her fingers playfully flicker across my skin. Our arms swung back and forth a bit, and I couldn't help but notice the bright smile on her face. She was happy. Happier than I'd seen her in years.

"I'm gonna miss you," she said. Emmett and I were leaving the next morning, and this was most likely the last time I'd see her until August.

"I know, I'll miss you, too. But I'll write all the time. We can chat sometimes at night when we stay in hotels. Some of them have free wifi, so that'll be good."

"Okay, yeah, that sounds fun." She rocked back and forth, from one foot to the next for a moment before finally looking up at me. "Don't get crazy with any girls out there on the road, alright?"

"Why not?" I said, knowing what she was getting at. Our friendship had been light and fun so far, but I could tell she wanted more from me. I just didn't know if I was capable of giving it.

"Just don't. Please."

"Okay."

Like she really even needed to ask. She completely owned my heart, she always had. I just couldn't tell her that. Not yet, maybe not ever.

"Happy birthday, Edward," she whispered, then leaned up on her tip toes and placed her hand on my cheek, pulling my face down a bit. Our lips met and she sweetly, tenderly kissed me. It was the best kiss of my life, and as I lay in my bed that night I realized something. I would forever belong to her. No matter where I went, who I met, what I did...my heart belonged to the girl that lived across the street from me. And it always would.

The next morning, Emmett and I packed up and were just getting into the car when Bella came outside. She had a plate of cinnamon rolls in her hand and a bag of goodies for us to munch on while we drove. Emmett grabbed the food, calling dibs on the gummi bears and Funyuns, but I didn't mind.

"Be careful," Bella said as she stood next to me, holding my hand and tracing her index finger over my knuckles.

"We will. I'll find you on gchat tomorrow night. We're stopping at a motel somewhere in Montana. They have wifi, I already checked."

She smiled up at me and when Emmett called out to me, his mouth clearly already full of cinnamon roll, I laughed. "I guess I'd better go."

"Okay. I'll talk to you soon," she softly said. It was obvious she wasn't in any hurry to let go of my hand, or to step away from me. I wasn't, either. It was killing me. I'd waited my whole life to have her like this, and now that it was finally happening, I was leaving for two months. I lifted my free hand to her cheek, tilting her head up and looking into her eyes. She was sad, but I could see happiness there, too. It made me feel better.

"Bye," I whispered, bending down to lightly kiss her, pecking a few times before finally pressing my lips harder against hers. The little squeak moan that left her throat assured me she enjoyed it, and I smiled brightly as I backed away toward the car.

We waved to each other while Emmett drove my car down the street, Bella growing smaller the farther away we got. I wanted to stop, to turn back and grab her, make her come with us, but I knew that wasn't a feasible option. We were just getting to know each other again, and the idea of doing that over a long distance was somewhat romantic. I was actually a little excited about it.

Over the first two weeks, Bella and I talked online every few nights, and the nights when we couldn't chat, I made sure to call her on our old cell phone once we were settled in somewhere. The plan was to explore the East coast states, ending up in New York City in July before heading north toward Maine and Nova Scotia. If we timed it right, we'd end up back in Forks about a week before Emmett, Rose, and I had to be back to school. That gave me a week with Bella, and with each new place we saw, I found myself wondering how many days I could shave off the trip. I wanted more time with her. Plain and simple. Even though I was still trying to fight falling for her, in the back of my mind, and in my heart, I knew it was just a matter of time. She was it for me, and I couldn't ignore that.

I'd managed to sneak in my digital camera so that I could email pictures to Bella every week. Emmett was offended at first, but once he realized he could take risque pictures of himself and send them to Rosalie, he was okay with it. As long as I kept taking pictures with the Polaroid, which I did.

New York City was much warmer and muggier than I'd expected, but I was just glad they weren't suffering through a heat wave during the week in July that we spent there. We'd experienced the Fourth of July in Washington, D.C., managing to miss the huge crowds of tourists in New York. Rosalie flew in to meet us, and we explored every inch of the city that we could. Or at least all the area's she thought were safe enough of two naïve small town boys like us. After taking in a Broadway show, the Statue of Liberty, the Brooklyn Bridge, the subway system, and Times Square, I was ready to head north, hoping to cut off a couple days of our trip.

That night as I sat in my hotel room, there was a knock on the door. Unsure of who it could be, I was surprised to find Rosalie standing in the doorway, clearly uneasy about something. She and Emmett had turned in for the night a few hours before.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" she asked.

"Sure," I said, opening the door and letting her inside. She was quiet, the hum of the air conditioner the only sound that filled the small room.

"I just wanted to apologize, Edward. Emmett told me about you and Bella, and I think it's great. I feel really bad, though."

I looked at her in confusion. "Why?"

"Well, back in school, in Forks...I knew she liked you. And I didn't stand up for her. She never told me, but I could see it on her face. Every time she looked at you, or talked about you, or when she saw you with that girl you dated...I could tell. I'm so sorry, Edward. I should have been a better friend to her."

Letting out a sigh, I sat down on the bed. "Rose, it's fine. There's nothing you could have done. I mean, Forks is a small town, and we all had our labels and our groups. No one person could have changed that. It's fine, I'm fine. Bella and I will be okay. Whatever happens, happens, but I think we're both happy right now. Please, don't worry about it."

"I know, but think of all the time you missed. I could have helped that. I could have done something, I just didn't know what to do."

I looked up at her as she stood nervously near the door. "Rose, really, it's okay. You have a good heart and I appreciate that. I'm sure Bella does, too. I mean, I'm glad I've finally gotten to know you, now that we're out of Forks. I'm really glad Emmett has you. You're good for him, and to him. I really respect that about you. I don't think anyone else is strong enough to handle him," I said with a laugh.

She smiled. "I'm glad I got to know you, too, Edward. You're kinda great. Bella's a lucky girl."

"Thanks, Rose. Don't worry about anything from back then. I don't, not anymore. That's just what small towns are like, you know? Nobody can really change that, and I definitely wouldn't have expected someone to change it for me."

Rosalie smiled a little brighter, her cheeks turning a bit pink. "I always thought it was so funny how much she liked you. I don't know how she managed to stay away for so long."

"Oh yeah?"

"Oh come on, you knew that."

I grinned. "No, actually, I didn't."

Her eyes widened as she stared blankly at me. "What?"

I continued to smile, seeing how uncomfortable she suddenly was. It was kind of funny, though I knew I couldn't let her suffer for long. "No, I never knew. I mean, I had a crush on her from the first time I saw her in second grade, but I never knew about her liking me. But now, thanks to you, I do."

"Oh no, no, no, no, no. Please don't tell her I told you this. Oh, Edward, please don't. She'll kill me, please. I mean, she probably doesn't even know that I knew about it, but if she knew that I'd told you this, she'd just die. Please don't tell her."

I let out a laugh. "Sorry, Rose. I mean, she told me last month that she always liked me, but it's just nice to have confirmation of it, you know? Part of me thought maybe she was just saying that to make me feel better, but now that I've heard this...now I know she really meant it. Even though I don't know how she could have seen past my glasses and awkwardness. I was not attractive in the least."

Rose let out a nervous laugh. "Oh Edward, you were fine. I mean really, who _is_ attractive as a teenager?"

I thought to myself that Bella was, but the rest of us? Yeah, not so much.

"Thanks Edward. I'm really excited about the rest of the trip. Thanks for letting me come with you guys."

"Sure thing," I said, standing to open the door for her. "Just promise me that you and Emmett will wait until I'm out of ear shot before you start getting down to business, okay? I really don't need to hear that."

Rosalie giggled. "Okay, I'll do my best. But you know Em..."

"Exactly why I'm talking to you about this," I said.

We said good night and I watched until she was safely back in her room. After firing up my laptop, I spent the rest of the night gchatting my dream girl. I hung on every word as she told me all about how horrible her day at work was. Even though I felt bad that she had a terrible day, I was getting to talk to her, and I couldn't have loved it more.

The next few weeks of the trip went by faster than I'd imagined they would, and soon enough we found ourselves driving across the state of Washington, only a few hours from home. Bella had asked that I call and let her know when we'd be arriving, which I happily did.

We pulled into the driveway and by the time I stepped out of the car, she was already hurrying down the walkway that led from her front door to the street. The smile on her face was blinding and I could see her steps becoming a bit quicker the closer she got to us.

"Hey!" she yelled out, waving her hand in our direction. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Emmett run around the back of the car and straight toward her. She squealed as he grabbed her, picking her up and swinging her around.

"Bella, I'm so happy you're glad to see me! I missed you so much!" he called out.

We all laughed at his joyfulness, and I sighed in relief when he set her back down on the ground, messing her hair just a bit before returning to Rose. The two of them headed into the house, leaving Bella and I alone in the drive way.

"Hi," I said, feeling stupid and uncertain of what to say or do. I'd never been in this situation before, where someone was anxiously awaiting my return.

"You made good time. I wasn't expecting you for another half hour."

I smiled. "Yeah, well...I might have had a lead foot. Anxious to get back here and all."

I wrapped my arms around her shoulders when she was close enough, pulling her against my chest and smiling as her arms circled around my waist. She smelled so good and she was so soft, I couldn't let go of her, even when it got to the awkward stage of our long hug. I didn't care, I had her with me again, and I wasn't letting go.

"You wanna come inside?" I asked her.

"Sure. Aren't you guys gonna unpack and stuff? You want some help?"

"Nah," I said. "I think we'll just pull the car into the garage and do it tomorrow. We're all ready for some time away from that thing. And I think it needs to air out a bit, too. Two, and then three, people stuck in a car for weeks on end does things even the most aromatic air fresheners can't fix."

She laughed as I led her inside, my arm never leaving her shoulders.

We spent the next few days together, laughing and talking and just enjoying the time we had. She helped me unpack from my trip, then repack for school. We talked a lot about college and she was excited about the classes she'd signed up for. She was going to be taking some online courses though the community college in Port Angeles. They were just general education classes, but they would all transfer to a university, and I hoped that when the time came, that university would be the one I was attending.

"So, I was thinking about school next year," she said as we sat in my bedroom, surrounded by piles of clothes I was sorting through. "If my mom keeps improving, getting better, she probably won't need me, and I could go away to school."

"That'd be great," I said, hoping to sound supporting. Meanwhile, I was scared to death that she'd say she was headed off to some far away place.

"I was trying to decide if I should check back with Oregon or if maybe I should look at other schools. Maybe ones a little closer to home."

Her eyes didn't meet mine, and I knew she was nervous about what she was saying.

"You know, you could always come to U Dub with me. It's a great school, and they have a good communications program, if you want. I mean, you could probably even check into scholarships and stuff. You never know."

"Yeah?" she asked, looking up at me with hesitancy in her eyes.

"Yeah, definitely."

I left a couple days later, both of us promising to use our time apart to keep rebuilding our friendship. If nothing else ever came of it—and I was really hoping more would come of it—at least we would be friends again. That was more than I'd ever thought was possible.

As the semester flew by, Bella and I both focused on our classes and homework, taking time every night to call or chat or skype with each other. Emmett gave me a hard time for not going out as often as I had the year before, but he understood. He and Rosalie were pretty solid and I was sure he'd ask her to marry him before we graduated. By the time Thanksgiving rolled around, I was ready for a break, and anxious to see Bella. Our conversations had morphed into something different than just simply friendship, and I was curious to see how that would affect us when we were actually together.

I saw her every day that I was home, each of us spending the actual holiday with our families and then meeting up late that night. She talked me into shopping with her on Black Friday, and if I hadn't been so head over heels in love with her, I'd have left her behind instead of standing in a check out line for three hours at six o'clock in the morning. But she was so excited about her new flat screen television, I just couldn't find it in me to be upset about it. Plus, she held my hand the whole time.

By Sunday night, we had full on made out twice, and I was starting to wonder just how far things would go during Christmas break, when I would be back for three weeks.

We decided not to do anything too elaborate for each other for Christmas. Bella was struggling to save as much money as she could for school, and I was hopeful that if she had enough, she'd come to Seattle the next fall. I couldn't help myself, though, and Christmas night I gave her a little box with a charm bracelet in it. Each charm was for one of the places we had dreamed of going together on the summer trips that we never got to take. She cried as I explained what each figure had to do with the location. That night she let me unbutton her shirt, and just like I'd always dreamed, her breasts were the most perfect ones I'd ever seen. They tasted good, too.

Any time she wasn't working, we were together. One night, as we talked around the downtown area, listening to Christmas carols as they floated through the cool air, my worst nightmare began to unfold before my eyes.

We had just exited the ice cream shop and were laughing about the fact that even though the temperature was near freezing, Bella wanted ice cream. I had my arm around her waist as she snuggled into my side. Her smile was so beautiful as she looked up at me, pursing her lips as she requested a kiss.

"Hey Bella," I heard from someone near us. Her body stiffened, and her head jerked to the side.

"Riley."

I looked up, seeing her old boyfriend as he stood nearby with a few of his friends.

"I didn't know you were dating anyone," the jerk said, hatred and jealousy evident in his voice. "So who's this?"

It was obvious he didn't recognize me, and as I stood an inch or two taller than him, I straightened my back so that I could look down at him.

"What the... Cullen?" he said, a snarl on his face. "You're kidding me, right? You're dating this dork? What happened, Bells? Did I ruin all other men for you? You had to resort to this?"

"Riley, this is Edward, my boyfriend, and he's not what you said, so stop it."

"Hey Riley," I said, offering my hand for him to shake. As much as I hated him, I wanted to at least attempt to be civil with him. If there was any trouble, it wouldn't be coming from me.

He laughed at my gesture, his friends joining in as they walked closer to us. Riley stood in the center, flanked by the two guys I'd known all my life. I didn't think there was anything to really worry about, but I could smell alcohol on them, as well as see the empty beer cans on the ground where they'd been sitting. This could be bad.

"Come on, Bella. Let me show you what you're missing, baby. It's been a long time since I had a piece of you. I know you miss me."

He tried to touch her arm, but Bella moved closer to me instead.

"Riley, stop. Just leave us alone. You and me are over, I already told you that."

"Did you leave me for him? Seriously, you little slut? He can't give it to you like I can, you know that."

"Riley, just go away, okay?" she said, trying to push me around one of his friends and away from the problem.

"Did our little Bells here ever tell you I was her first, Edward? Did she tell you all about me popping her cherry in the back of my car? Huh? Did she tell you how good it felt and how loud she moaned my name?"

His eyes were glossing over and I knew he was drunk, but the things he was saying... It was all I could do to not punch him. Plus, I knew even if I got him good, his friends would most likely get me even worse. Bella was shaking, and I knew it wasn't from the cold. In that moment, I felt like it wasn't as important to defend her as it was to get her away from them, and I tightened my hold on her waist.

"Riley, shut up!" she yelled, slapping him across the face. "How dare you! Just go away!"

With that, she grabbed my hand and turned around, pulling me back toward the ice cream shop.

"Come on, Bella. You know you wanna piece of this again. I wanna hear you scream for my fingers, baby! You don't belong with a nobody like him, Bells. You belong with me. Come back!" he yelled to us as we quickly walked away from them.

By the time we reached my car, Bella was crying. I got her settled into the passenger seat and then ran around to my side, turning on the heater so that she could warm up. She stayed quiet, sniffling and looking down at her hands that were clenched together in her lap.

"Bella?" I said softly, not wanting to startle her, but needing to know what she was thinking.

"Just drive, Edward. I wanna go home." Her voice was so quiet, empty sounding. It worried me, but I did as she asked.

**~o~O~o~**

**A/N: Man, just when things were looking up, too. Dang Riley. :D**


	5. Chapter 5 Photo Album

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own are children that are hungry. This seems to be a pattern...every night, them asking for food. Interesting... :D**

**Thanks to my girlies – _MaggieMay14, EdwardsBloodType,_ _UnchangedAffections,_ _Twilight44,_ _Luxure,_ and my wifey _Mrs. Robward_ . I don't know what I'd do without these amazing girls. They're all pretty wonderful, and so helpful, too. :D**

**There's a banner for this, linked on my profile. It's pretty, and it has pictures. It's good. :)**

**_Lyricalkris_, I hope you like this. Thanks for the prompt, it was fun to work with. Yeah, Riley sucks. Sorry. :D He's gone now. :D**

**~o~O~o~**

_She is everything to me  
>The unrequited dream<br>A song that no one sings  
>The unattainable<br>She's a myth that I have to believe in  
>All I need to make it real is one more reason <em>

"**Vermillion,**** Pt. ****2"by** **Slipknot**

~o~O~o~

Chapter 5 – Photo Album

No more words were said until we pulled into my driveway. My parents were gone for the night, so instead of letting her go home, which she tried to do, I pulled her into my house and sat her down next to me on the living room sofa.

"Sweetheart, tell me what's wrong. Is it really that big a deal to see Riley again? It was just talk, Bella. He was trying to get under our skin, that's it. It's no big deal, it's just all that small town stereotype stuff like usual."

"The things he said, they aren't true. You aren't a nobody, Edward, and for him to say that..." She sounded so broken, and sad. It was heartbreaking.

"I don't care what he said, Bella. He doesn't mean anything to me. I'm over it. I'm done being treated like that. I know who I am and I'm not gonna let some stupid comment from him ruin me." I honestly had moved on from the labels of my youth, finding confidence in my successes over the past few years. I was comfortable in my own skin and I was happy with my life. Riley wasn't going to affect that. Unless...

"Bella?" I asked, my thoughts going to my darkest fear. The one thing that I knew could destroy me if I wasn't careful. The truth of the matter was that this one thing was probably what had kept me from taking things farther with Bella when it came to our relationship. "You are over him, right?" I asked, vocalizing my biggest concern.

"What?" she said, looking at me as tears continued to roll down her cheeks.

"You don't want to go back to him, do you?"

Bella watched me for what seemed like hours, finally raising her hands and placing them on either side of my neck. She used her thumbs to angle my head so that she could look me more fully in the face.

"I don't want him. Never again, do you hear me?"

I nodded, assuring her that I understood what she was telling me.

"Edward, I'm not sad about him or what a jerk he was to you. What I'm sad about is the fact that I let him to do that you for years. You probably never even heard the way he used to talk about you. He knew we were friends, and he made stop seeing you. He's the reason I let our friendship fall apart. I was so stupid, Edward."

Her eyes closed as she began to cry harder, her tears streaming faster down her face, and her voice catching on her breathes every so often. "He made me feel like I was worthless and useless, and that no one else would ever want me. The really stupid thing is that I believed him. I didn't stand up for you, and tonight when he started saying those things...that part of me that wanted to scream at him and tell him how wrong he was...it just wouldn't. I failed you, Edward, and I'm so embarrassed and ashamed. Please forgive me. Please."

"Bella, stop," I said, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her against my chest. I hugged her for several seconds before I finally lifted her a bit and shifted toward her, settling her onto my lap. "You didn't do anything wrong, Honey. He took advantage of you, and for that I'd really like to hunt him down right now, but you didn't do anything to be ashamed of. I was a big boy, Bella. I took care of myself."

"But I hurt you. I know I did."

I couldn't lie to her, that wouldn't help the situation. "You're right, you did hurt me, but I'm okay now. I learned things I never would have learned, otherwise. I've been places and met people...I never would have been able to do that if things had been different between us. You might think you pushed me away, but you didn't. You pushed me toward something, and that something is what got us to this point. And I wouldn't trade this—what we have right now—for anything. If losing you for a little while means that I get to find you again and keep you forever, then I'm okay with that."

She pulled back and looked at me, her eyes wide. "What?"

_Crap, __crap, __crap!_ We hadn't talked about anything more than just friendship and casual dating, but I'd gone and bared my soul, laying everything out in front of her. If she didn't want the same things I did, I was going to lose her.

It was a chance I had to take.

"I want you, Bella. Forever. I'm not in this for just an easy thing, or a for now kinda thing. I want an always with you. I know it's scary and it's probably stupid to think of tying ourselves down so soon in our lives, but I've known since I was seven years old that you're the girl for me. I'll wait as long as it takes to have you."

"Edward..."

I straightened my shoulders, ready to hear what she had to say, but needing to get out all of my thoughts before I did. "I know this might not be what you want, and that's okay. If you just want friendship, I'll be okay with that. I'll always be hoping for more, but I'll never push you into something you don't want. You're the one in control here, and I know I probably shouldn't tell you that. I mean, if Emmett knew, he'd say I need to hand over my man card, but I don't care. You and me, we're open and honest with each other. No holding back. I want you to know I'm all in, I'm not playing games. I want you, no one else. Not ever."

She tucked her head under my chin, her nose pressed against my throat. I could feel her warm breath on my skin, her wet eyelashes fluttering against my neck every so often. She started to calm down, her breaths slowing and her body relaxing in my arms. Just when I thought she'd fallen asleep, I heard her soft voice whisper the words I had always wanted to hear.

"I want you, too."

The rest of Christmas break was hectic, our mother's needing us to help with different things, run errands for them, meanwhile Bella had her work schedule to deal with. We made out a few more times, but I didn't push her for anything more. We both knew I was going back to school soon, and it felt like if we crossed that line in our physical relationship, it would only make things that much harder when it came time to say goodbye for a few months.

She smiled through her tears when I left, and I promised to be back for a visit as soon as I could.

I made a few random weekend trips home when I was able to manage it, but when spring break came, Bella asked if she could visit me. Her college classes were going well and she'd talked to an adviser at her school. Her grades were good enough to transfer to U Dub in the fall, so the only issue was money. It was simple—she didn't have enough. No where near enough, to be honest. We took the opportunity her visit gave us, and I took her around the campus to talk to anyone and everyone that I thought might be able to help.

She stayed in my room with me for the week, both of us squeezing into my small twin bed. It wasn't just that we wanted to be close, though we did, but it was also about the fact that Emmett was my roommate, and his bed wasn't exactly somewhere I was comfortable with my girlfriend sleeping. Plus, I liked falling asleep with my arms around her, her head tucked against my chest and under my chin. She smelled good, and she was making my bed smell good. We fooled around a bit, but I never pressed her for more, physically. It had been about a year since I'd had sex, and longer for her. I knew she was nervous, and we both knew that once we did that, once we gave ourselves to each other in that way, things would be changed forever.

As the semester came to a close, Emmett and I decided that we'd rent a house the next fall. Alice was going to be starting at U Dub with me, and Rosalie was interested in moving in, too. She and Emmett spent pretty much every night together, anyway, so it just made sense. We found a little three bedroom house that we could afford, and we set up all the paper work so that we could move in as soon as we got back from our summer road trip. It was our last one, and we'd decided to just drive with no plan in mind. We were going to let fate lead us wherever it wanted to.

I was excited about it.

The only bad thing was that Bella couldn't go. I'd asked her to, several times, but she had to work. She had a new manager at the diner and apparently, he was a jerk. He messed with her work schedule on a regular basis, telling her that if she'd go out with him, then she could work any days and times that she wanted. Of course, she wouldn't, which only served to upset him and cause him to take it out on her. She wanted to quit, but there weren't many other jobs in Forks that were hiring, and especially not for just a few more months. She hoped she could stick it out and qualify for some type of scholarship for school so that she could get out of Forks once and for all.

When I returned home in May, Alice was graduating. Bella went to the ceremony with me, and when it was over, we went into the cafeteria to find Alice and my parents. As we stood talking to them, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to find Tanya standing there. She'd graduated, too.

"Edward!" she said, excited and smiling as she threw her arms around my neck and hugged me. "I'm so glad to see you. How are you?"

It was good to see her. She'd grown up so much since the last time I saw her, and I was glad to see how happy she looked.

"Hey, Tanya. I'm good, how are you?"

"Great. I got into UCLA, I'm moving to California next week. Can you believe it?"

I was really proud of her. She was a good student, and I was thrilled that she was going to move on to someplace bigger and better, that would offer her more challenges than Forks ever could. I had complete faith in her abilities, and I knew she'd conquer anything she attempted.

"That's really great, I'm happy for you."

We chatted for just a minute or two before I felt Bella's arm wrap around my waist. I looked to my left to see her looking up at me, her eyes hesitant. I put my arm around her shoulders and pulled her to me.

"Tanya, you remember Bella, right?" I asked.

She nodded. "Sure. Hi, Bella."

"Hi, Tanya. Congratulations," she kindly said.

"Thanks." Tanya looked at me, then back to Bella. A huge smile grew across her face. "So, you finally did it, huh? I hoped you would," she said, winking at me.

I knew she was talking about my crush on Bella and how Tanya had always known. I hoped that someday she would be as happy as I was, and that she'd find a man who would treat her with the adoration and love she deserved.

I said goodbye to her, wishing her the best and wondering if I'd ever see her again.

"She looked happy," Bella said once Tanya was gone.

"Yeah, she did. I'm glad, she deserves that."

Bella smiled. "I used to be so jealous of her. I remember seeing you kiss her one day in your garage. I was outside, and I was so angry and just...hurt, I guess. I ran in the house and cried for the rest of the day. I wanted so badly to be her."

I hugged her tighter to me. "I'm glad you weren't her. Otherwise, I wouldn't have you right now."

She smiled and raised up on her toes a bit, looking for a kiss. I happily obliged her.

The next few weeks passed by much the same way as they had at Christmas, with the exception of Bella's constant watching for the mail's arrival each day. She had been accepted to the University of Washington, but she hadn't heard anything from any of the scholarships that she'd applied for. Because she lived with her parents, she had to go off their income, which meant she couldn't qualify for financial aid. Student loans were her last resort, and she was considering just staying at the junior college in Port Angeles for another year. She would transfer to U Dub the next fall, after I'd graduated, if she had to.

I really hoped it wouldn't come to that. I didn't think I could manage another year without her.

Emmett and I were planning to leave on our trip the day after my birthday, just like the year before. Rosalie would be going with us, so each of us was packing a little lighter this time. Not that we'd packed all that much before.

Bella worked strange hours at the diner, and even picked up a few shifts at the town library. I tried to spend as much time with her as I could, but as each day passed, her spirits dropped lower and lower. Not only did she think she would have to remain in Forks for another year, but she was facing a summer on her own. Again. It killed me to see the sad look in her eyes any time someone mentioned the road trip, but there was nothing we could do.

I was looking forward to my birthday, even though my mother had planned a little party, like normal. Though this one she was making a big deal out of. I was turning 21 and she wanted all of our family and friends to be there. Bella's birthday wasn't until September, so when Emmett mentioned going to a bar for the evening, I didn't even entertain the idea. I knew if it meant Bella couldn't be with me on my last night in Forks, then I wouldn't go. She took the day off work and we spent it watching movies, having lunch, and just enjoying each other.

It was the best birthday I'd ever had.

That night as my mother brought out the cake that was brightly lit with candles, everyone sang and laughed. Bella sat next to me, holding my hand, and when it came time to blow out the candles, she helped me. I made my wish, and though she didn't ask, she knew what it was. The only thing I really wanted was for us to be together. That's what I wished for.

"Okay, present time!" my mom said, bringing out a big box. My parents hadn't given me many presents over the past few years, instead just giving me money for my summer road trip. I was fine with that, so the giant box shocked me.

"Mom, what's this?" I said, hesitantly taking the box from her.

"Just a little something I put together for you. I hope you like it."

I lifted the lid and saw a book inside. When I reached in and pulled it out, I realized it was a photo album. Lifting the cover, I was shocked to see a page filled with Polaroid pictures from the first trip that Emmett and I took

"Mom? How did you..."

"Well, I found a box of pictures in your room and I knew they were from your trip, so I decided that rather than have them stuffed in that old shoe box, I'd put them in a binder for you. There are extra pages at the end for the pictures from this year, so you can add them as you go."

"Wow, this is incredible. Thank you so much." I flipped through each page, seeing pictures of places and people that I hadn't seen in years. The memories came flooding back to me, and before I knew it, I was half way through the book and everyone was just sitting at the table staring at me.

My mother laughed. "Well, I think that was the right gift."

Bella was looking at the pictures with me. "Wow, you went to all those places?" she asked.

"Yeah, we did."

She let out a sigh. "I wish I could have gone with you."

Looking at her, I said the first thing that came to mind. "You did."

**~o~O~o~**


	6. Chapter 6 Shotgun

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a crazy imagination and a lack of lemon writing skills. :D Oh joy... :D**

**Thanks to my girlies – _MaggieMay14, EdwardsBloodType,_ _UnchangedAffections,_ _Twilight44,_ _Luxure,_ and my wifey_ Mrs. Robward_. I don't know what I'd do without these amazing girls. They're all pretty wonderful, and so helpful, too. :D**

**There's a banner for this, linked on my profile. It's pretty, and it has pictures. It's good. :)**

**_Lyricalkris_, I hope you like this. Thanks for the prompt, it was fun to work with. I hope you like lemony stuff... :D**

**~o~O~o~**

_She is everything to me  
>The unrequited dream<br>A song that no one sings  
>The unattainable<br>She's a myth that I have to believe in  
>All I need to make it real is one more reason <em>

"**Vermillion, ****Pt. ****2" by** **Slipknot**

~o~O~o~

Chapter 6 – Shotgun

That night, after the cake had been eaten and everyone had returned home, Bella and I took the album over to her house. Her parents were already asleep for the night, so we quietly went into her bedroom and sat on her bed, the book laying across our laps.

As we looked at each picture, I told her stories about the places I'd gone and the things that Emmett and I had done. I told her how each place had reminded me of her in some way, and I saw her reverently touching the charm bracelet that I'd given her. She always wore it, and it made me smile that she was finally hearing all the stories from our trips, and not just the ones that were represented on her bracelet.

"See, when I said you did go with me, I meant it. Each of these places, there was something there that reminded me of you. Even when I was trying to get as far from your memory as I could, something always brought me back. Always."

"Edward, I don't know what to say. I feel like I've seen all these places with you, and now I want to see them again."

"Come with us. Just quit the diner and come with us tomorrow. Please. I'll help you find another job somewhere else, I promise."

She let out a deep breath. "You know I can't. I want to, so much. It just isn't meant to be, I guess."

I closed the book and sat it down on the floor. "_We're_ meant to be," I said, looking at her and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. I watched her, how beautiful she was. Not just on the outside, but on the inside, too. She still reminded me of that cute little girl from second grade. She still looked like the beautiful girl from high school. She still acted like the shy, sweet girl from grade school. All of those were her, my Bella. They were all real, and together they made up _her_. They made up the real Bella. There was no question in my mind anymore as to who she was, or what she was. She was real, she was mine, and I was never going to let her go.

"I love you, Bella," I said tenderly, before leaning closer and brushing her lips with mine. It was something I'd felt for her all my life, but I'd never said it out loud before. Maybe it was just the fear of not hearing it back that kept me from telling her. However, in that moment, completely consumed by her, I couldn't hide my feelings anymore. She sucked in a quick breath as she stiffened for a moment, then she relaxed and began to kiss me back.

I'd kissed her dozens of times, but there was something different about this one. The room was silent, nothing but the sound of our breathing. I kissed her again and again, my hand ghosting along her cheek and pushing into her hair. Our lips moved together, mine sucking her lower lip between them and tugging a bit. She always made a little whimper when I did that, and this time was no different. That sound, barely loud enough for me to hear, awakened parts of my soul and my body, each and every time.

I kissed along her jaw, nuzzling her neck and leaving a trail of wet kisses on her heated skin. The way her body arched toward mine told me she was just as into the moment as I was, and I bit down on her earlobe, listening as she moaned softly. Her hands went to the hair at the nape of my neck, and her fingers tugged it lightly as her breathing picked up speed.

"I love you," I murmured again, my mouth next to her ear. There was no way she hadn't heard me.

"Edward," she sighed, pulling on my hair harder and then leaning away from me. For a split second I wondered if this was it. If this was when she would finally tell me that she didn't feel that way for me. Rationally, I knew that probably wouldn't happen, but she'd never said she was in love with me, and she'd never really mentioned forever for the two of us. At least not like I had. Maybe she wasn't in as deep as I was, maybe she had changed her mind, or maybe she just couldn't ever see me in _that_ way. As my mind raced with a million different thoughts, our eyes met.

"Edward, I love you so much. I always have, but I was just too afraid to tell you."

She loved me. She had always loved me, but more importantly...she loved me now!

"Yeah?" I said, wanting to smack myself for letting the word slip out.

"Oh yeah," she said, nodding her head as a smile turned up the corners of her mouth. "So much, it scares me sometimes. I just always thought there was no way you could ever feel the same way I do."

"Bella, I love you. I have since we were seven. It's just grown over the years, and even during all that time when we didn't talk, I loved you still. I always will. Forever."

Her eyes searched mine for a moment, the smile gone from her face. "Kiss me, Edward," she whispered, and I did as she asked.

Kissing her was becoming second nature for me, and as I continued to place loving kisses on her lips, her face, her neck, I felt her lean away from me. Her hands were still moving through my hair, and she pulled me down onto her as she laid back on the bed.

Our hands were everywhere and soon enough we were both shirtless and I was undoing the clasps on her bra. Once I peeled it from her body, I took a moment to look at her—the way she looked all spread out underneath me. I just wanted to remember how beautiful she was, and what I'd waited my whole life for. I couldn't stop myself from kissing her chest and her breasts, my tongue wrapping around each of her hardened nipples as she writhed in my hands.

We'd been making out for what felt like hours, though was probably only twenty minutes or so. Suddenly, her hand—which was gliding back and forth along the waistband of my jeans—dipped a little lower, and she was cupping me. Her fingers felt amazing against my balls, only the denim fabric separating them.

"Baby," I gasped as her hand slid up and down, rubbing against me, causing my cock to grow harder than it already was. My hand moved to one of the cheeks of her bottom, squeezing it as I pressed my hips against her. Our mouths were still hungrily attacking each other as our tongues darted out, licking and stroking. Kissing her was like nothing else I'd ever experienced before in my life, and I thought in that moment, if I could do it every day, for the rest of my days, I'd never complain about anything again.

Her fingers soon started to struggle with the button on my jeans, trying to get it undone. Once it was, I felt her lower the zipper and push the pieces of fabric away from each other, and down a bit. I followed her lead, and soon had her shorts unbuttoned, my fingers hesitantly lingering on the waistband of her panties.

We'd only been this far once before, and that got stopped when Emmett came barging into the room. Luckily, we where under a blanket, otherwise I may have had to gouge out his eyes for seeing my girl. This time we were totally alone. Bella's parents were sleeping in the other end of the house, the bedroom door was locked, and there was nothing to stop us. Except our own hesitation. I wanted to be sure this was what Bella wanted, and as hard as it was to stop, I did, lifting up and taking my weight off of her.

I looked into her eyes, seeing questions there. My voice sounded almost foreign to me as I spoke quietly. "Are you sure? You really want to do this?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I want this. I want you."

"Bella, I'm not going anywhere. We don't have to do this tonight. I mean, I won't be mad if you wanna stop."

Her teeth dug into her lower lip as her eyes moved to look at my chest. She was thinking, that much I could tell, but then she looked back up at me. There was a determination in her face that I hadn't seen before.

"Edward, I want you. I want you always, and I want to be with you. Please, make love to me."

With that, I pressed my body against hers and kissed her with all the love I possessed.

The rest of our clothes were quickly gone, and when I felt her shiver a bit, I grabbed at the quilt underneath us. I pulled it down, causing her to shift and shimmy, which made her laugh. Once we were covered and still again, I looked at her, loving the smile on her face. This was how it was supposed to be. I'd had sex before, experienced lust and want plenty of times, but none of those moments had ever been like this. I'd never felt all the things I felt with Bella, and I knew in that moment, we were right. We were special and sacred and perfect. There would never be anything else as good as what we had, and I couldn't wait to have all of her.

My hand trailed down her side, skimming the edge of her breast, her waist, her hip, before moving between us and feeling the soft skin of her stomach. Her hands were raking up and down my back, and I moved my leg so that it was between hers, parting them. I continued to kiss her neck as my hand traveled down her abdomen, finally pausing at the apex of her thighs. I knew there should have been hair there, but there was none. She was bare, and as my fingers pressed lower, meeting her wetness, I let out a groan. She was so hot, and she just continued to get better and better.

"Ugh, Edward," she moaned as my fingers pushed against her folds, parting them and sliding back and forth. Her body arched, her breasts tight against my chest. Her nipples were so hard, I could feel them digging into me. I slowly slid one finger into her, the rough texture of her center rubbing against my skin. She continued to moan and mew, little sounds falling from her lips over and over again. I was so hard, heavy against her hip. I knew she could feel me, and as I pumped one finger, and then two into her, one of her hands slithered down my arm and between us. She tried desperately to take hold of my cock, but we were too close together, there was no room between us.

My fingers continued to move in her, all around her, until finally I couldn't wait anymore.

"Condom?" I said in her ear, breathless.

"No, I'm on birth control, it's okay. I trust you."

I trusted her too, though I wondered for a moment why she was on birth control if she wasn't having sex regularly. It was something I'd have to ask her later, but for the moment, I was busy shifting and moving my body, settling between her open legs.

Her hand moved to my hip, sliding between us and grasping at the head of my dick. I was seeping for her, and I felt her thumb begin to spread the precum around, her fingers sliding up and down my length. I continued to kiss her, wanting this to be something more than just sex. In my mind, it was, and I just wanted to make sure she felt the same way. I knew she'd been with Riley many times, and I didn't want to pale in comparison to him. Nor did I want to remind her of him. I just had to hope that my efforts would prove to her how much I loved and cherished her. How much I wanted her.

Her legs rose up, her knees on either side of my hips, and I felt her pulling me toward her, the tip of my cock finding her wetness and warmth. As I thrust my hips back and forth, she started to move with me. Soon enough, I was pushing into her. Her head fell back against the pillow and her mouth hung open, her eyes closed tight. Her breath was coming out in pants and groans, and I wondered if I was hurting her. I was average size in the penis department, totally within the normal length and girth limits, but it had been a while since she'd done this. She was squeezing down on me so tight, I had to hold back the urge to pound into her over and over again. All kinds of naughty images began to float through my head, and I wanted nothing more than to flip her over, pull up her hips, and push into her from behind, hard and fast. But not this time, this time was special, perfect. I wanted our first time to be something neither of us would ever forget.

"Bella?" I whispered, my mouth hot on her neck.

"Oh, yes, Edward. You feel so good, Baby. Please, more."

With her encouragement, I began to move, my hips rocking in time with hers. It was like our bodies were made to have sex with one another, because from the very first thrust, we moved in synchronicity. I pushed into her over and over again, my hands caressing her breasts, my lips wet on her neck, our tongues tangling together. The feelings shooting through me were like nothing I'd ever felt before, and I continued to move in her like my life depended on it.

"Edward, I'm close, Edward, oh please, Baby..." Her words excited me, and I moved faster, pushing harder, kissing with more passion and love. I tried to lift off of her, but she pulled me back, fusing our lips together in a long, heated kiss. I squeezed my hand between us, letting my thumb find her clit, and I began to rub tiny circles against it. She screamed, her mouth against my neck to muffle the sound. I could see goosebumps forming across her chest, and I felt familiar stirrings in my stomach. My toes began to tingle and I pumped faster, harder.

As I watched her come undone in my hands, I lost it. With several long, deep strokes into her, I came hard, buried inside of her. My breath was coming at a rapid pace, her's matching mine. We were both completely overwhelmed and caught up in the moment, and I dropped my forehead to her shoulder, unable to speak.

After several seconds, I felt her hand in my hair, scraping my scalp and fingering my hair. It felt incredible, and I closed my eyes, trying to pull out of her and move to her side.

"No, stay on me, please."

"Bella, I don't want to hurt you," I said, thinking of how much larger I was than her.

She just giggled. "You're not that big, Edward. I mean, I know you work out, and believe me when I say I like it, but you won't crush me. I wanna feel you on me, in me. I like that."

I lowered myself back down, enjoying the way her body was pressed against mine. Every inch of her skin was accessible to me, and I loved it. The same could be said about her soul and her spirit. In that moment, I knew that I owned her, just like she owned me. And I never wanted to leave her side.

An hour later, as I lay next to her, my fingers winding her hair around them, I sighed.

"I should go, it's late. I've gotta finish packing my bag for tomorrow."

Bella was quiet, but I knew she was awake. "I'm gonna miss you so much," she whispered. "I don't want to even think about being here all summer without you."

She sniffled and turned her head, pressing her face against my neck. Her body shook in my arms as she cried, and I did my best to soothe her. There was nothing I could do. If we wanted any chance of her being able to move to Seattle with me in the fall, she had to stay home and work. I'd offered to give her my trip money, but she wouldn't take it. Besides, it was only about a fourth of what she'd earn working over the next two months, so it wouldn't have been much help anyway.

"Stay with me, just for tonight. Don't go, please."

I could hear the heartbreak in her words, the desperation in her voice. This was the last night we'd have together for several weeks, and I didn't want it to end, either.

"I might have to fly home a few times this summer," I said jokingly, but knowing how serious I was. I didn't want to be away from her any longer than I had to. Plus, I half way figured Emmett would be ready to get rid of me by the middle of July. Between what was sure to be my moping attitude, and his physical needs for Rosalie, I half way thought he'd drop me off at the nearest airport, put a one way ticket in my hand, and wish me well.

"I'm not ready to let you go yet," she said, wrapping her arms around me a little tighter.

"I'll stay," I said, placing a kiss on her forehead before we both fell into a deep, relaxing sleep.

The next morning, sunlight streamed through the curtains on her window. I knew it was early, and that I needed to get moving if we were going to leave on time. Emmett and Rosalie would be waiting on me, and Emmett wasn't always patient when it came to waiting. I looked at Bella, her eyes closed and her hair wild around her face. She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, and I wanted nothing more than to close my eyes and fall back asleep with her. I breathed in deeply, trying to memorize her scent, as my hands felt her skin, how soft and smooth it was. This was something I didn't want to forget, not ever, and I did my best to savor every second of our time together.

"Why are you awake so early? Don't you know I'm staying in bed all day today?" she asked, her voice groggy and thick with sleep.

"I can't help it. I want to enjoy you as much as I can."

"Oh yeah?" she questioned, looking up at me as she moved her leg over my thighs.

"What are you-"

"Shhh, my parent's are already awake. I don't think you want the Chief to catch you in the act of defiling his only daughter."

With that, she was up and on top of me, trailing kisses along my jaw as her hips moved over mine. My morning woods usually weren't too much of a problem, but this morning was different. Within minutes, I was buried in her as she sat on top of me, leaning back and letting me stare at her breasts as she rocked back and forth. She had a wild look on her face, accompanied by a smirk and giggle. She knew she was killing me, and she loved it.

She leaned farther back, her hands on my thighs, as she came. She let out gasps and moans, but controlled her voice, for the most part. I didn't know how she'd done it, because a few minutes later when I was exploding inside of her, she had to cover my mouth with her own and swallow my cries of pleasure.

"Just think, starting in September, we can wake up like this every day, if you want to. And if you don't schedule any classes before noon." She smiled and giggled, lying on my chest.

"I love you, so much, Bella," I said, kissing the top of her head and holding her tight.

Not much later, we were both dressed and ready. Of course, that was after she'd pulled me into her shower with her, telling me that her parents would be able to smell the sex on us. I knew her dad and had never been afraid of him, but now that I'd spent the night with his daughter, in his house, I didn't want to risk meeting his department issued weapon. Plus, I was aware that he knew all the good body hiding places. And no one would miss me for at least two months...

The Chief and Mrs. Swan didn't seem phased in the least to see Bella and I emerge from her bedroom, holding hands and talking quietly to ourselves. They both wished me luck on my trip, and then Bella walked me outside.

"Be careful, and come back to me," she said, wrapping her arms around my neck.

"Always," I whispered, before kissing her long, and slow, and deep. She was it for me, and I would never fight it again.

A few hours later, I finished putting the last of my bags into the car. Emmett and Rosalie had already packed everything and were ready to go. I had watched them sneak off toward my backyard, and really didn't want to go looking for them. Especially since this was their last few moments alone for the next couple of days. We wouldn't be stopping at a hotel until we reach Colorado, which meant we were camping out for a few nights until then. At least I had my own tent this year. That was something I made sure to buy, after waking up during the middle of the night the previous summer and having to hear them moaning and groaning in the sleeping bag just a few feet away from me.

I kissed my mom goodbye and was just going to yell for Emmett over the fence when I heard Bella screaming my name.

"Edward! EDWARD!" she yelled, her voice high and shrieking. It worried me, maybe something was wrong.

She was running across her yard, her eyes fixed on me, and I ran toward her.

"Bella, what? What's wrong?"

When she reached me, her smile was blinding. "It came! I got it!" Tears were running down her face. What came? I couldn't figure out what she'd gotten, what could make her react this way. She had several pieces of paper in her hand and she was waving them around.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"The scholarship, I got it. Full tuition to U Dub, Edward. I got it. It just came in the mail. I can't believe this, I got it. I can go to school with you!"

As her words sank in, realization hit me. We were really going to be together. "Yeah?" I asked, grabbing her and swinging her around in the air. Her laughter was loud, and soon both of our sets of parents were outside watching us, as well as Emmett, Rosalie, and Alice.

"What in the world is going on?" my mother asked.

"I got it! I got the scholarship for school. It pays all of my tuition, so I just have to take care of books and meals and housing. And if I live with you," she said, looking back at me, "then I can afford to go. With the money I already have saved, I can afford the whole year there."

"Holy crap, really?" I yelled, making her laugh as our mother's both clapped and giggled at us. I noticed that even the Chief was smiling, which made me feel better. I guess in comparison to her last boyfriend, I wasn't so bad. Maybe I didn't really have to worry about his pistol after all.

"Alright, so Bella can go on the road trip with us!" Emmett yelled, high fiving Rosalie.

I stopped, looking at my girl. "Can you? Can you go with us?"

She looked at me for a few moments, nervously biting into her bottom lip. "Well, I think so. I mean, if I'm careful with my money, and I don't buy any-"

"Screw the money, I'll take from mine for you. You're coming with us. Yes? Please?" I asked, willing to beg if that's what it took.

"I'll have to quit my job first..." She smiled. She knew how badly I wanted her away from the scuzzy sex addict boss of hers.

"Go pack, we're leaving. We'll stop by on the way, you can tell him yourself."

"Okay," Bella said, hugging me one more time before she kissed me, then ran back to her house.

My mother smiled at me, tears in her eyes. I couldn't help but smile back.

"Oh hey, Emmett?" I yelled to him.

"Yeah?"

"You're in the back. My girl's got shotgun."

"Wha- Oh, man. I had all my stuff up there, too. Dang it," he whined.

"Oh, Emmett," Rosalie sang, strutting over to him and whispering in his ear. I didn't hear another word out of his mouth as he happily moved all of this travel necessities to the back seat.

A few hours later we were on the road, my girl sitting next to me, our hands laced together as we smiled at each other. My Polaroid camera sat on the floor next to Bella's feet, and as we flew down the highway, I started to imagine all the pictures of us I could take with it. Finally, it would be me and my Bella, seeing all the places we'd dreamed of. Together, just the way I'd always hoped.

**~o~O~o~**


	7. Epilogue

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a husband that always wants me to drop everything and talk to him about all crazy online stuff he's into. Ugh... :D**

**Thanks to my girlies – _MaggieMay14, EdwardsBloodType,_ _UnchangedAffections,_ _Twilight44,_ _Luxure,_ and my wifey _Mrs.__Robward_. I don't know what I'd do without these amazing girls. They're all pretty wonderful, and so helpful, too. :D**

**There's a banner for this, linked on my profile. It's pretty, and it has pictures. It's good. :)**

**_Lyricalkris_, I hope you like this. Thanks for the prompt, it was fun to work with. I loved writing this for you, so I hope you enjoyed it. :)**

**~o~O~o~**

_She is everything to me  
>The unrequited dream<br>A song that no one sings  
>The unattainable<br>She's a myth that I have to believe in  
>All I need to make it real is one more reason <em>

"**Vermillion,**** Pt. ****2" by** **Slipknot**

~o~O~o~

Epilogue

Our last road trip was three years ago. Now, summer was upon us again, and Bella and I were driving through Idaho. We were bound for Colorado and Texas, before looping back through Arizona and Nevada toward the West coast. I had spent the past two summers working, while Bella went to school. Now, she had just finished her Bachelor's degree, and I my Master's degree. But before we got started on real life, we had one more adventure in us.

"When are Emmett and Rose meeting us in Vegas?" Bella asked as she fiddled with the radio stations.

"Fourth of July, they're flying in from Hawaii for a few days before they go home."

I had guessed right when I figured Emmett would propose before he graduated from college. I just didn't think Rosalie would make him wait for the actual ceremony until after she'd finished her Masters. Their wedding was beautiful and fancy, the talk of Forks. Bella and I had served as maid of honor and best man, postponing our trip until after the wedding. They were going to Hawaii for two weeks before meeting us in Vegas for the holiday weekend. Emmett was especially upset about missing the road trip with me, but when faced with choosing between being in a car with me for weeks on end, or having sex with Rose in Hawaii, he chose what any sane man would. And I didn't blame him. Plus, I may have encouraged him in his choice. After all, it meant I got Bella all to myself for the summer. Plus, I had plans.

"Sweetie, what's in that black garment bag on the back seat? I saw you throw that in, what is it?" she asked, chewing on the licorice stick that was hanging out of her mouth.

"Oh, that's just some clothes. You know me, I like to be prepared for anything."

She laughed. "Oh yeah, you're a real Boy Scout, that's for sure."

"You love it," I teased.

She leaned over the console of our new car, kissing my cheek. "I love you."

"Good thing, 'cause you're gonna be stuck in this car with me for a long time, Baby."

Her giggle warmed my heart, and I thought about what was in the bag. There was a tux and a very fancy, pretty white dress. Little did Bella know, Emmett and Rosalie weren't the only ones flying into Las Vegas for the Fourth of July. Our parents would be there, too, along with Alice and Jasper, and Bella's cousin Kate and her husband Garrett. They were all in on the secret, but Bella was still completely clueless. I kinda loved it.

As we drove through a particularly pretty forest area, I asked her if she'd reach under her seat and get the bag I'd stashed there. I tried to hide the smirk on my face as she questioned me, wondering why I'd put something I needed under her seat.

"I don't get it, I mean, if you really needed this thing, why not leave it out," she said, pulling the bag onto her lap.

"Well, it has something in it that I wanted to give you, I just wanted to surprise you. Plus, it goes with that garment bag in the back seat. Since you asked about it, I figured maybe it's time to give it to you."

Her eyes widened. "For me? Edward Cullen, what did you do?"

"Open it and see."

She stuck her hand into the bag, pulling out a little box. Her breathing seemed to pick up when she saw it, even though she turned stone still.

"Edward?" she mumbled, her voice shaking a little.

"Open it."

She slowly opened the lid of the box, gasping when she saw the antique diamond ring sitting neatly inside the burgundy felt lined box.

"Edward!" she shrieked, jumping up and down in her seat.

I smiled. She was going to be my wife, I knew it. And not just because she was six weeks pregnant with our baby, which her dad still was not aware of. I really hoped to keep that fact from him until after the ceremony had been conducted and we were officially Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen. He brought a whole new meaning and authenticity to the term "shotgun wedding."

Finally, after all our years together, all our ups and downs, Bella and I would make it official. She would finally be mine. For real.

**~o~O~o~**

**A/N: That's it. Thank you so much for reading this! It was fun for me, and reminded me of where I grew up...in a very small town with giant labels for people. Good times... :)  
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**_beegurl13_  
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